There’s a lingering thought that often crosses my mind—I’m not particularly fond of my son’s future partner. The idea that he may choose to spend the holidays with her family, and cater to her whims, doesn’t sit well with me.
At just 10 years old, my son doesn’t have a partner yet, but I believe in being prepared for what lies ahead. I frequently discuss this with fellow mothers of sons. When I share my preemptive feelings of resentment towards this unknown future spouse, I often receive a mix of understanding and skepticism. Some women nod knowingly, while others respond with platitudes like, “You have to let them go,” or “I adore my daughter-in-law!” In those moments, I can’t help but give them the same look I’d reserve for someone who suggests I venture into the basement alone at night.
Then, one day, my son arrived home from school, a serious expression on his face and a piece of paper clutched in his hand. “I have something to tell you,” he announced. He revealed that he had a crush on a girl who was moving away in two weeks and wanted to call her. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel panic or anger; instead, I was filled with excitement for him. Trying to appear nonchalant, I said, “Sure, let’s do it.”
As I watched him dial her number, brows furrowed in concentration, I felt a rush of pride. He was polite and respectful—a true gentleman. When he got the green light from her mother to speak to her, he literally pumped his fist in triumph. I chuckled softly, eavesdropping on his first attempt at a phone conversation with a girl. “So—how’s your family?” he stammered, and I couldn’t help but smile.
A couple of days later, I picked her up after school, and we went out for ice cream. I paid for their treats and then discreetly observed from a distance as they chatted, laughed, and enjoyed their time together. My heart swelled with joy watching my son so happy. In that moment, it struck me—I had been so focused on my own feelings of loss that I hadn’t realized his new experiences were opportunities for growth and happiness.
Every achievement he makes—whether it’s scoring a goal, acing a test, or simply making others laugh—fills me with a sense of pride. His happiness is, without a doubt, my happiness.
Reflecting on my relationship with his father, I realize how precious it is to raise our children together. I want nothing but the best for my son. He still dances with me in the living room, sings silly songs, and tells me he loves me. Each night, as we lie together, I am reminded of how deeply I love him. My emotions are a mix of joy and bittersweet sorrow as I watch him grow, knowing that time is fleeting.
I used to see his future partner as a rival, someone who would take him away from me. But now, I see her differently. If this article finds its way to her someday, and she’s wondering how to win over a slightly crazy mother-in-law, here’s my advice: Christmas at our house—you’re welcome to the family!
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In summary, while the thought of my son’s future partner once filled me with dread, I now see that his joy is paramount. Supporting him in his journey, whatever it may be, is my ultimate goal.
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