During my robust twenties, I was never one to spend endless hours at the gym, scrutinizing my reflection for “flaws.” Not that I didn’t have any. From a little Buddha belly to sturdy thighs and jiggly upper arms, my body has always been far from the idealized image. As for my breasts, they’ve been asymmetrical and droopy for as long as I can remember. My physique has never been described as fit or even remotely glamorous.
Growing up with three brothers, I was fortunate enough to escape the fixation on physical perfection. Instead, I learned to appreciate the beauty of being average. My body, this body, has always done what I needed it to do. It helped me dominate the tennis court, powered through my thesis at the last minute, and helped me haul my belongings up the stairs to my first apartment in New York City. It’s resilient enough to have overcome surgery and even cancer. Because I don’t waste time obsessing over its aesthetic flaws, I can celebrate its functionality.
I’ve never spent excessive time on hair or makeup. On my wedding day, I spent less than two hours getting ready from shower to aisle. The dress I wore, which hung from my broad shoulders, cost under $100. Instead of hiring a professional photographer with a penchant for soft filters, I enlisted a co-worker known for his quirky, edgy work to capture the event like a lively rock concert.
When I glance at those wedding photos, I see my upper arms squeezed awkwardly against my husband’s. Yet, in the next shot, those same arms are effortlessly lifting him, thanks to my brothers. Rather than stress about looking perfect, I indulged in cake and danced until my sturdy thighs could no longer support me.
When I became pregnant, everyone warned me about the impending transformation of my body. “Use plenty of lotion to avoid stretch marks. Don’t gain over 15 pounds, or you’ll never shed it. Enjoy your thick hair and firm breasts now because everything is about to change.” Now, after two C-sections, 70 pounds of pregnancy weight, and 35 months of breastfeeding, little has changed. My eyeliner and powder still represent the height of my makeup routine. My belly remains soft, my arms still jiggle, and my thighs are as thick as ever. The only thing that’s “bangin’” these days is my head hitting the oatmeal-stained dining table when my child refuses to eat the chicken nuggets he begged for.
Still, my body accomplishes what I need it to do. I may not keep my mouth shut, but I can carry a 35-pound toddler in one arm and a 25-pound toddler in the other while managing a diaper bag stuffed with milk, grapes, and two large bottles of bubbles. I can transport a balance bike and a toddler while dragging a wagon full of groceries uphill. I can leg-press that same 35-pound child as he holds our 15-pound cat captive on his “airplane.”
So what if my belly wasn’t toned before kids? It still isn’t now. I’ve lost nothing of value. Sure, I shower less and my makeup routine is even more minimal than before, but I don’t miss those things. There’s no reason to long for my pre-baby body; as far as I’m concerned, I still have it.
It’s liberating not to care how my body or face stacks up against others. To any woman contemplating motherhood, I urge you to embrace your average-ness. If your hair wasn’t thick and glossy before pregnancy, it won’t magically become so afterward. If you’ve never had gravity-defying breasts, don’t be surprised when you still need a bra after producing and feeding with approximately 224 gallons of milk.
Let it all go and appreciate the gifts your body has given you. Because you are about to embark on the amazing journey of motherhood. Your body will do what you need it to. There’s nothing ordinary about that. For more support on your journey, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination and consider visiting IVF Babble for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re looking for practical tools, Make a Mom offers reliable at-home insemination kits.
In summary, this journey is about more than appearances; it’s about embracing the incredible capabilities of your body and celebrating the unique experience of motherhood.
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