Before embarking on the wild journey of motherhood, I was convinced that honesty was the best policy. I’d guide my children through the ups and downs of life, never once bending the truth. After all, how could they trust me if I resorted to lying? I imagined that anything less than total transparency would lead them down a perilous path. This mentality persisted even during those early days with my twins, when I was adamantly against television and sugar. Fast forward to today, with two energetic almost-three-year-olds, and my perspective has shifted dramatically. Television has morphed into my unexpected ally, and I find myself tossing around bribes of chocolate chips and animal crackers like confetti.
And yes, I tell my children fibs—regularly. (Sorry, not sorry.) While I recognize that this might not be the best approach, I’ve discovered that a few harmless white lies can make the chaos of toddler life a bit easier to manage.
1. It’s Broken
A classic maneuver. When my little ones insist on watching yet another episode of their favorite show, despite my attempts to get us ready, I simply declare the TV is “broken.” If they want to press all the buttons on the remote or climb on the kitchen counter, I’ll say the faucet is mysteriously “broken.” On days when I’m drained and counting the minutes until bedtime, a slew of things in our home suddenly seem to malfunction.
2. It’s Coffee
Mama’s coffee is a non-negotiable. My twins quickly grasped that coffee is for grown-ups and quite hot. Using this to my advantage, I label anything I don’t want them to have as “coffee.” Iced tea? Coffee. A can of Diet Coke? Yep, coffee. Even a glass of wine? You guessed it—coffee. One day, they’ll likely catch on that I’m not a walking caffeine factory, but for now, it works like a charm.
3. I’m Working
As a writer who works from home, my laptop is a constant presence. My partner once explained to our kids that they shouldn’t disturb me because I’m “working,” and they’ve taken that to heart. While I might be scrolling through social media or reading the latest gossip, every time my daughter spots me at the computer, she asks, “You’re working, right, Mom?” Uh, yes! Definitely working on something incredibly important. Can we revisit this in five minutes?
4. The Dog Wants You To
Having a dog is pure magic for toddlers. Our pet has an impressive sway over my kids’ decisions. When I need them to do something, I casually mention that “Penny wants you to.” Whether it’s naptime or cleaning up, they’ll listen to our furry friend much faster than they will to me. “Oh, Penny wants to help you get ready for bed!” works wonders, even if it’s a stretch of the truth.
5. It’s Medicine
Lately, my kids have developed an aversion to medicine. To navigate this challenge, I sometimes label tempting treats as “medicine.” That box resembling Girl Scout cookies? Oh, that’s medicine. And that gourmet fudge I bought during a weak moment? Yep, you guessed it—medicine. It may not earn me any parenting awards, but I’ve learned that sometimes you have to do what gets you through the day without guilt.
These little fibs might not fit into the ideal parenting handbook, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that sometimes, a little creativity can make life with toddlers more manageable. After all, every parent has their strategies for surviving the day.
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Summary
: Navigating toddlerhood often involves a few harmless lies to make life easier. From declaring favorite shows “broken” to labeling treats as “medicine,” these strategies help manage the chaos without guilt.
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