If you ever spot me in the grocery store with my son, you might raise an eyebrow or give a sigh of exasperation. You might feel a twinge of annoyance as my shopping cart blocks the aisle while I dig through my oversized bag for that precious stash of Mike and Ike. It’s the inevitable moment of crisis I foresaw—my son, on the verge of a meltdown, wailing for me to pick him up while I desperately negotiate with him using candy as bait to keep him in the cart.
Yes, I’m that mom, and I won’t apologize for it.
I’m the mom who negotiates, pleads, and does what it takes to maintain some semblance of peace. I’m the one who lets my child indulge in cookies and candy before dinner if it means avoiding a public scene. I’m the mom who hands her 2-year-old a butter knife in a restaurant just so I can enjoy the meal I paid for. I’m also the mom who skips the socks on chilly days because it’s easier to warm the car than to endure the tears and tantrums that come with “no socks!”
I never envisioned myself as that mom. While I was pregnant, I’d watch other mothers struggle with their children and tell myself, “That will never be me.” I was determined to be the strict, no-nonsense parent, letting my child cry when necessary and maintaining my authority. Little did I know that the child I was carrying would completely change my perspective on motherhood. I didn’t anticipate his stubbornness, nor did I realize how deeply his tears would affect me. My son turned my world upside down, and I learned that being the mom he needs means being “that mom.”
I’m the mom who truly understands her child and is willing to adapt, because a child’s happiness is invaluable, and they’re only little for a short time. I’m the mom who recognizes that a tantrum often stems from exhaustion and chooses to offer comfort instead of reprimanding. I’m the mom who embraces simplicity, joy, and laughter over conflict.
You might think I’m ridiculous as I whirl around in the rain with my son to stave off his tears. I’m the mom who scoops him up like a football—“hotball,” as he affectionately calls it—and makes a joyful dash rather than forcing him to walk. I’ve learned that candy isn’t the ultimate evil; rather, it can be a lifesaver in moments of crisis, and compromising doesn’t signify weakness.
Being that mom doesn’t imply I’m taking the easy route. It means I’m setting aside my preconceived notions of motherhood to be the parent my son truly needs. So, feel free to roll your eyes at my choices. Gossip with your partner about what you see. Express shock when my toddler plays with a butter knife or any item you deem inappropriate. I apologize for the wait, but I refuse to say sorry for being “that mom” you once vowed you’d never become.
Perhaps you’ll never find yourself in my shoes. Maybe you’ll avoid the bribes and remain resolute in your parenting style. Maybe you possess the strength to let your child cry it out, becoming the mother you always envisioned. Perhaps your child won’t require you to bend the rules like I do.
But my son needs me to be that mom, and I stand firm in that choice. So, if you ever find yourself in a position where you become the mom you once swore to avoid, I hope you’ll embrace it without regrets. Sacrificing personal wants for the needs of your child is what all mothers excel at, and it’s something we should never feel remorseful about.
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Summary
Motherhood is a wild journey filled with unexpected twists. Embracing the role of “that mom” means prioritizing your child’s needs over preconceived notions of parenting. Whether it’s using candy as a bargaining chip or making sacrifices for the sake of peace, it’s essential to adapt and be the parent your child truly needs. So, don’t shy away from being that mom—own it without regrets!
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