When your child suffers an injury, you naturally anticipate that the adults around them will provide comfort and empathy. However, what you may not expect is to hear them offer justifications for the bully responsible for your child’s pain. This was the unfortunate experience of Lisa Thompson when she rushed her 4-year-old daughter to the emergency room for stitches after being struck in the face by a boy at school.
At the local pediatric hospital, a staff member engaged with them regarding the incident. After hearing the details, the employee remarked, “I bet he likes you.” Unsurprisingly, Thompson was outraged. She took to her social media to express her frustration, arguing that such a comment sends a harmful message: that “someone who likes you might hurt you.” She called for adults to recognize the implications of their seemingly innocent remarks, which can inadvertently normalize unacceptable behavior.
Since Thompson shared her thoughts, her post has resonated widely, accumulating thousands of shares and comments from supportive parents. This sentiment strikes a chord with many; many of us have been told similar things during our childhoods. I remember adults telling me that if a boy picked on me, it was because he had a crush. This kind of reasoning is not only confusing for children, but it also suggests that negative attention is something to be tolerated and even appreciated.
Moreover, by implying that aggression is a form of affection, we absolve the bully of accountability for their actions. Lisa was right to point out that the employee likely didn’t consider the ramifications of their words. Nonetheless, perpetuating such dangerous ideas is inexcusable. The mindset that “boys can’t help themselves” and that “girls should be flattered by male attention” feeds into a broader culture of violence and harassment against women, starting at a much earlier age than many realize.
Statistics reveal that one in five tweens, aged 11 to 14, experience dating violence, while two in five of the youngest tweens report knowing friends who have faced verbal abuse in relationships. As these children grow up, they are more likely to engage in risky behaviors or face mental health challenges. Furthermore, one in four women will become victims of domestic violence in their lifetimes.
With October recognized as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, let’s take this opportunity to reflect on the language we use and the messages we impart. We must guide young individuals to understand violence for what it truly is, rather than distorting it into an expression of love or admiration. Ending the myth that aggression or bullying is acceptable behavior is crucial.
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In summary, we must advocate for healthier conversations around bullying and aggression, promoting a culture where respect and accountability are paramount.
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