In the realm of parenting advice, the common narrative suggests that becoming a parent enhances your character and makes you a better person. However, I find myself at odds with this notion. Recently, I shared my thoughts with my partner, Jamie, who confidently asserted that parenthood has improved me—it hasn’t.
Let me clarify: I’m not claiming that I’ve turned into a terrible person or that I’m failing as a parent, because I genuinely believe I’m doing well. Yet, I can’t ignore the fact that certain aspects of my personality have been amplified since I embraced motherhood. When I reflect on my journey, it often leads back to the moment I became a mom.
The Perfectionist in Me
As a natural perfectionist and control enthusiast, I’ve always held myself and those around me to high standards. In my pre-motherhood life, my tendency to orchestrate situations worked seamlessly. Friends relied on me to plan outings; colleagues depended on my organization. I was able to let others live their lives without interference, which kept my world intact. My wedding was meticulously planned, and my honeymoon had a detailed itinerary—while some found that overwhelming, my partner appreciated the structure that ensured we made the most of our trip.
Now, however, these traits have spiraled out of control. My perfectionism and need for order have intensified, and I’m at a loss for how to rein them in. I’ve distanced myself from family members whose habits or beliefs I disapprove of, fearing their influence on my daughter. It’s irrational, I know, but I can’t seem to shake it. I’m reluctant to let anyone other than Jamie or myself drive with her in the car—what if something goes wrong? When someone expresses a desire for one-on-one time with her, my instinctive response is often, “Why do you need that with a toddler?” I feel an overwhelming urge to oversee every interaction, every conversation—everything.
A Shift in Perspective
Before I became a mother, I was more open-minded and accepting. Now, I find myself more judgmental and less tolerant than I ever was. Some might argue this shift is simply a part of growing older, but for me, it’s a troubling consequence of parenthood. I used to embrace the diversity of beliefs and lifestyles around me, but now, I’m consumed by the fear that someone’s differing views might lead my daughter astray.
Additionally, my emotional sensitivity has skyrocketed; I can cry at the drop of a hat. I’ve become increasingly negative and affected by the world’s chaos. Gone are the days when people marveled at my unwavering optimism. Now, I’m plagued with worries about the world my child will inherit. I understand that much of this is beyond my control, yet it drives me to exert even more control over what I can influence.
The Positive Aspects of Motherhood
Motherhood has transformed me in numerous ways. It has opened my heart to a depth of love I never knew was possible. When my daughter faced a significant surgery, it awakened an inner strength I didn’t know I possessed. I have rediscovered joy in life’s little moments and found renewed passion in teaching, as my daughter has become my most important student. I’m constantly learning new things for her benefit and gaining insights from her perspective.
However, while motherhood has enriched my life in many ways, it hasn’t necessarily made me a better person. But I’m committed to continued self-improvement, and who knows—perhaps I’ll find a balance one day.
Resources for Further Reading
For those seeking more insights into parenting and home insemination, you might find this article on intracervical insemination helpful. If you’re considering at-home insemination options, Make A Mom offers reliable syringe kits. Additionally, the CDC provides an excellent resource for understanding pregnancy and home insemination here.
In summary, while motherhood has undoubtedly shaped who I am today, it hasn’t transformed me into a better person—though I’m working on it.
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