Each morning, just before I fully awaken, a relentless electronic ticker begins to scroll behind my eyelids. It’s an unending list of tasks that demand my attention, starting with the essentials: lift the wailing toddler from the crib, change the diaper, pour myself that much-needed cup of coffee, and prepare breakfast for the boys. Don’t forget to put on some pants and drink more coffee.
Then there’s the “school prep” mental checklist: brushing teeth, packing lunches, signing permission slips. Amidst all that, I remind myself to: shower or, at the very least, wash my face; insert contacts; and consume something for sustenance. Once the boys are off to school, yet another list begins: tidy the kitchen, get dressed, pack my own work bag, or set up for the day at home. Even when I settle into my work and find my rhythm, the ticker interrupts: Order rain boots for my older son. Think of dinner ideas. Don’t forget to drop off those bags at Goodwill.
Sometimes, it feels like I need to hit the pause button on my brain, or at the very least, mute this incessant to-do list that nags at me like a persistent alarm going off every few seconds. I find myself walking around mumbling reminders: Pack a snack, call the pediatrician for flu shots, don’t forget deodorant, rotate the tires, and order supplies for Halloween. Did I confirm that meeting? What’s for dinner? Is it dinnertime yet? Make dinner.
For some, intrusive thoughts are a serious issue, often associated with anxiety or obsessive-compulsive disorder. While I respect the struggles that come with such conditions, I can’t help but feel that my to-do list is equally intrusive and bothersome. It’s a constant presence. There’s never a moment when my list is empty; it’s perpetually filled with tasks. If and when I meet St. Peter, I’ll likely ask for a moment to cross off “get to Heaven” and write down “research dining options in Heaven.”
Even when I consciously try to unwind, like reading a book in the evening instead of tackling another load of laundry or scrubbing the bathroom, the to-do list lingers, quietly perched on my shoulder. I might tell myself, “You’re reading a book now, so relax,” but the nagging sensation that any time I take for myself only adds to tomorrow’s workload remains.
Is this just part of motherhood? Will this list ever shrink? Weekends begin with a list of tasks to accomplish (the ongoing project of “clear out the home office so we can actually work in there” has persistently made the cut) and somehow end with just as many items still lingering (“keep working on the home office cleanup”).
Perhaps it’s just that my family is slow and inefficient, but I refuse to believe others are that much more productive. The reality is that there’s simply too much to do for just two adults to handle. Non-urgent repairs get postponed, and I still find myself in maternity clothes two years after giving birth because shopping never seems to make the cut. The sheer volume of stuff is overwhelming; managing the kids’ clothing feels like a full-time job, as every three months brings a new need to sort through and donate outgrown items. Meal planning, grocery shopping, and preparation sometimes feel like a Sisyphean task, even with all the time-saving hacks available (which, of course, is another item on my to-do list: “learn how to be a more efficient cook”).
As any parent knows, trying to accomplish household tasks while watching kids isn’t exactly a recipe for productivity. You might be cleaning the office, but your toddler is busily dismantling the printer in the corner.
Maybe one day, things will get easier—perhaps when my children are older and less dependent on my constant attention. Perhaps one day, I’ll be able to enjoy my home office in peace. Maybe one day, I’ll finally find a way to turn off this never-ending to-do list.
For more insights on managing tasks and parenting, check out this post on intrusive thoughts. If you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom is a reputable online retailer for insemination kits. Additionally, Kindbody offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, the struggle of balancing daily tasks as a parent often feels overwhelming and unending. The to-do list can seem like an intrusive companion, but it’s a shared experience many parents face. Finding ways to manage these tasks while still carving out personal time is a challenge that hopefully gets easier with age and experience.
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