Since stepping into motherhood, I’ve found myself on a mission to connect with fellow moms. I’ve dived into mom groups, taken my baby to music classes, and even joined a women’s group at a church where I don’t regularly attend. Riding the wave of new motherhood, I feel an intense urge to surround myself with women who are navigating the beautiful chaos of parenting. I want to share my experiences—like dealing with engorged breasts and the mysteries of baby poop—and ask questions like “Is this normal?” to those who truly get the exhaustion and overwhelming love that comes with being a new mom.
However, in my enthusiastic search for fellow moms, I’ve unintentionally distanced myself from my childless friends. It wasn’t intentional, nor was it because they lack understanding; rather, I’ve been in survival mode, often feeling lost. While I cherish the friendships I’ve formed with other new moms, I’ve come to realize just how essential my childless girlfriends are during this time.
1. They Help Me Remember Who I Am
It’s easy to get lost in the identity of “Mommy,” the sleep-deprived, milk-producing machine who goes to bed at 8:30 p.m. My childless friends help me reconnect with who I am—Jessica, the witty one who loves a good glass of wine and a laugh at inappropriate jokes.
2. They Don’t Offer Unwanted Advice
Mom friends often provide well-meaning advice about sleep training or the best products for new parents. Sometimes, though, I just want someone to listen, pour me a drink, and say, “That sounds tough.” My childless friends do just that, without feeling the need to solve my problems.
3. They’re Eager to Hold My Baby
While mom friends are supportive, they’re also in the thick of parenting themselves. My childless friends come over, take my baby, and allow me some much-needed relaxation. There’s something heartwarming about seeing my friends dote on my child, and yes, the wine certainly adds to the emotional moment.
4. They Keep Me Grounded
Recently, a fellow mom and I were lamenting about how our 5-month-olds aren’t signing yet. When I shared this concern with my childless friends, they responded with humor and a reality check, reminding me that there’s much more to life than baby milestones.
5. They Prevent Me from Slipping into “Mom Mode”
I have no judgment for how other moms dress, but it’s easy to fall into a style rut post-baby. My childless friends remind me of the importance of putting some effort into my appearance. They’ve even sworn to intervene if I ever consider wearing mom jeans or cargo capris!
6. They Don’t Judge My Parenting Choices
Whether I’m co-sleeping, breastfeeding, or using formula, my childless friends don’t bat an eye. Their lack of preconceived notions about parenting styles allows me to relax and just be me, without feeling scrutinized.
Spending time with my childless friends gives me a chance to unwind, enjoy a drink, and remember that I’m more than just a mom. For more insights, check out this blog post, which dives deeper into these friendships. If you’re looking for practical resources, consider visiting Progyny for a wealth of information on pregnancy and home insemination. And for those exploring home insemination options, Make A Mom offers reliable kits to support your journey.
In summary, maintaining friendships with my childless girlfriends is crucial for my well-being as a new mom. They remind me of my identity, provide emotional support without judgment, and help me keep a balanced perspective while I navigate the beautiful, yet challenging, world of motherhood.
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