7 Surprising Roles I Discovered as a Mother

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When I first embraced motherhood, I imagined the typical responsibilities: changing diapers, breastfeeding, and whipping up healthy meals. What I didn’t anticipate were the multitude of unexpected tasks that come with parenting. Here are seven roles I never knew I’d take on as a mom.

1. Hazardous Materials Specialist. Before kids, I’d see those detergent commercials just like everyone else. Little did I know that “protein stain” is a secret code for mothers, signaling which laundry detergents can tackle the most unpleasant messes. Plus, I’ve become quite adept at cleaning up vomit from walls in the middle of the night.
2. Chief Archivist. Organization has never been my strong suit. I struggle with how to categorize my files; bills often pile up until I receive a third notice. The influx of my children’s artwork and keepsakes has been nothing short of overwhelming. Every day, I find myself holding onto potential treasures, like an old notebook chronicling my first son’s diaper habits five years ago—“1:20 poop. 1:45 poop…”—and I must decide whether to keep or toss it, along with the hundreds of drawings he creates daily.
3. Flight Attendant. This role is defined by how many times I buckle someone into their seat, only to be interrupted as I fetch drinks for a cranky little one who’s had too much sugar. I’ve also mastered the art of feigning cheerfulness, even when I’m on the verge of losing my cool.
4. Water Bottle Researcher/Tester. Over the last five years, I’ve spent a staggering $923 on various sippy cups and water bottles. At this point, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I may never find a bottle that doesn’t leak, can be opened by my child independently, and doesn’t harbor mildew in the valves and straws.
5. Social Secretary. Growing up in the free-range era of the ’70s and ’80s, my mother didn’t know my friends’ names until I was in college. Back then, if I wanted to play with someone, I’d just bike over to their house. Now, I manage an elaborate network of moms, kids, and playdates along with a myriad of after-school activities. My calendar often resembles a perplexing puzzle, akin to untangling a political campaign schedule.
6. Hoarders’ Removal Specialist. This role pairs nicely with that of Chief Archivist. Living in an apartment that my husband once occupied alone means space is at a premium. I frequently conduct purges of broken toys, torn books, and art projects from years past. Consequently, I find myself sorting through bags of trash and donations every month.
7. Valet. In a world where meticulously organized wardrobes exist, the ritual of “turning the closet” is a twice-yearly event where off-season clothes are swapped for current ones. I’ve never taken part in this practice, opting instead to mix summer and winter clothes all year long. However, with small children, every October and April brings a hefty task of clearing out outgrown clothes, unpacking hand-me-downs for my second child, and buying essentials for my first.

I’ve come to view motherhood as an umbrella term encompassing all these sub-roles. Surprisingly, I enjoy most of these tasks, and I’ve become a more organized and capable person since becoming a mom. Plus, I’ve honed my skills in removing protein stains, which is a definite win!

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In conclusion, motherhood is a multifaceted role that goes far beyond the basics. Embracing these unexpected responsibilities has made me a stronger, more capable individual.