This year, the excitement of back-to-school season faded faster than I expected. Not even the appeal of shiny new school supplies or freshly ironed uniforms could chase away the gloomy atmosphere that enveloped our household once classes resumed. We’re just 13 days into the school year, and I’m already anxiously awaiting Thanksgiving—our first extended break (which is 74 days away, in case you were wondering). By day 8, my lunch inspiration had completely dried up. Day 10 saw us oversleeping, and by day 12, I jokingly suggested homeschooling just so we could enjoy a morning without waking up at 6:15. The response? Silence and wide-eyed stares, leading me to abandon that thought.
As I sat in the pick-up line on day 13, I reminisced about our carefree summer days filled with lazy mornings and spontaneous beach trips, as well as s’mores enjoyed on the patio. I longed for the fine layer of sand that once sprinkled the floor mats of my car and the sight of surfboards nestled between the seats. I craved a washing machine overflowing with swimsuits, not polo shirts adorned with our school logo.
And then, my car doors swung open, the kids hopped in, and the bickering commenced—lasting the entire 20-minute drive home. Suddenly, the reality of summer came rushing back. It was not the idyllic stretch of bliss I had envisioned; I remember week 4 vividly, when I tearfully called my husband, considering selling my own blood to fund a camp—any camp—just to escape the constant squabbling. If arguing over trivialities were an Olympic sport, my kids would take home gold medals.
Here are just 29 of the countless ridiculous things my kids argue about:
- Whose juice glass is cooler.
- Whether they argue too much (yes, really).
- Who’s “out” during any game of Gaga, butts-up handball, or Nerf War.
- Whose sock is left on the floor.
- Anything subjective in nature.
- Anything factual.
- Who greeted the neighbor first.
- The arrival time of Grandma and Grandpa.
- The actual time Grandma and Grandpa showed up.
- Who hugged Grandma and Grandpa first.
- The correct way to unload the dishwasher (spoiler: they both need practice).
- How to pick up dog poop.
- Who last fed the dog.
- Whose tortoise is larger.
- Who gets the last cookie.
- Who gets the first slice of pizza.
- What we had for dinner last night.
- Who gets sunscreen applied first at the beach.
- Whether Maroon 5’s latest song is overplayed.
- Which route to school is fastest.
- Who instigated the latest argument.
- Who gets to use the treadmill vs. the elliptical in the garage (because taking turns is not an option).
- Who gets to unlock the car door.
- Who gets to unlock the front door.
- Who forgot to close the car door.
- Who forgot to shut the front door.
- Slurpee or McFlurry?
- Who greeted Dad at the door first.
- Who greeted Dad at the door first yesterday.
As I contemplate the 74 days until Thanksgiving, it feels like time is dragging, and packing lunches suddenly seems like a welcome task. If you’re interested in more insights on parenting and family life, check out this post on Cervical Insemination. And if you’re considering home insemination, Make A Mom offers an excellent range of at-home insemination kits. For additional information about fertility and insurance options, UCSF’s fertility resources can be extremely helpful.
In summary, the endless squabbles over trivial matters are just a part of the parenting journey, reminding us that while the days can be long, the years are short.
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