Dear Little One,
You, my fiercely independent and adventurous child, are now two years old. You don’t just break the rules; you redefine them. Often, you create your own set of guidelines.
Here’s a little confession: before you entered my world, I had a clear vision of the type of mother I wanted to be. And guess what? Most of those visions have been altered or completely tossed aside.
I will exclusively breastfeed for the first year (I didn’t stick to this).
You demanded to nurse every minute of every day, but my body just couldn’t keep pace. Pumping was a challenge, and frankly, I wasn’t a fan of nursing in public. I was utterly exhausted. If nursing had satisfied you, I would have trudged on, but after hours of feeding, you still seemed hungry, and that was too much for me. So, breastfeeding lasted a mere two weeks, and believe me, we were all much happier when your adorable tummy was filled with formula.
I will sleep when the baby sleeps. Everything else can wait (I bent this rule).
Laundry? Dishes? Bathroom breaks? Cooking? Forget about it! I had a million things to do while you caught some Zs. But I found solace in those rare moments when I would curl up on the couch with you on my chest. Our heartbeats synced as you nestled into me, and we would drift off together, cherishing those fleeting but priceless moments. Not even a mountain of laundry could pull me away from that.
I will not let my children watch TV (I bent this, too).
Some days just require a “reset,” which sometimes means a little couch time with your favorite show. Waiting in the doctor’s office? Only so many lollipops can occupy a toddler. Your little body sometimes needs a break from all the energy, and honestly, so do I.
I will not be the anxious first-time parent bombarding the pediatrician with questions (I fully broke this rule).
I once fretted over your pinky toe looking crooked, worried it might impact your walking.
I will not allow my child’s schedule to dictate my life (Also broken).
I quickly realized the consequences of skipping naps or pushing back bedtimes. I had to surrender to the schedule.
My children will eat a healthy, balanced diet and have veggies at every meal (I wish I could say I bent this, but really, I broke it).
The past three nights? Hot dogs. The only “vegetables” you touch are the sugary pouches. On a positive note, you did lick a piece of broccoli last night, so there’s hope yet!
I will continue to make time for friends (I bent this).
After your arrival, my priorities shifted. My perfect night now often involves jammies and watching you laugh with your dad. Nevertheless, after a long week of toddler talk, nothing beats a happy hour with friends to recharge.
I will reclaim my body and stick to my gym routine (Broken, oh so broken).
My body has transformed in ways I never anticipated. I can’t even recall my last gym visit. Today’s breakfast? A cookie. Lunch? Goldfish crackers.
I won’t discuss poop (This rule was shattered before you were even born).
Honestly, it’s impossible to avoid.
I won’t be the mom who constantly checks the clock for “wine time” (I seem to break this rule daily).
No elaboration needed.
I will not succumb to the yoga pants stereotype (This one has been bent).
I tried to resist the yoga pant trap, but then I realized clichés exist for a reason. When your dad hasn’t seen me in anything but comfy attire for over a week, I seize nap time to shower and wear real clothes. It makes me feel human again.
My children will learn to fall asleep independently (Broken).
I didn’t foresee how intoxicating the scent of your head would be while I rocked you or how wonderful it feels to have your sleepy body curled up in my lap after a long day.
So, my dear, I’ve broken and bent many rules along the way. You’ll come to understand that some rules are meant to be stretched and modified (just like you do). However, one rule remains firm and unyielding:
I will love my children with every fiber of my being (forever and always, unbroken).
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In summary, motherhood is a journey filled with unexpected twists, bends, and breaks. But through it all, love is the steadfast rule that prevails.
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