I often hear misconceptions about stay-at-home moms (SAHMs), especially the idea that we’re surrounded by friends and playdates. Sure, I can handle being told I have it “easy” or being asked if I’ve “let myself go.” I frequently find myself saying, “No, I don’t work,” as if managing two small, energetic children is akin to lounging on the couch all day.
Let me set the record straight: I don’t have a bustling social calendar filled with playdates, and I only have two close SAHM friends. One is my sister-in-law, and the other lives a good hour and a half away. So, let’s just say we don’t meet up very often, apart from exchanging daily text messages. I’m also part of an online mommy group that I’ve been a member of for three years, but meeting face-to-face would require a plane ticket, and honestly, traveling with two toddlers is not on my to-do list. Call me a coward, but I’ve survived one flight with them, and that was enough.
To be fair, I haven’t actively sought out more SAHM friends. I’m not the type to approach a random mom at the park and suggest coffee. The thought of using MeetUp.com feels like I’m trying to find a date. “Choose me! I promise I’m fun and I’ll avoid cursing around your kids!” It feels like a trial run for friendships. What if I meet them, and we just don’t click? How do you gracefully bow out? “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just too busy with my kids and husband.” Yeah, that sounds great.
Honestly, I’d prefer my drama to be limited to TV. “Did you see what happened on that reality show? What was she thinking wearing that?” That kind of drama is much easier to digest while in my comfy clothes with a glass of wine in hand. I can’t exactly sip wine and munch on cookies while breaking up with a fellow mom over coffee. That’s just not classy.
However, I’ve come to realize that I’ve been part of a huge SAHM group all along—I just didn’t notice. I belong to what I like to call the “Target Society.” Every weekday morning from 8 to 10:30 a.m., I join a large group of moms at my local Target. We congregate over groceries, bath towels, and clearance items we didn’t know we needed.
There’s definitely a dress code for this club, and luckily, I’ve been unknowingly following it. The standard attire seems to be workout clothes that have never seen the inside of a gym. The Messy Bun or Top Knot is the hairstyle of choice. Thank goodness I’ve mastered the Messy Bun; it’s like I’m a ballerina who got caught in a windstorm.
I’ve even witnessed security turning away moms who looked too put-together. The other day, a well-dressed woman was told to return at 11 a.m. because her attire didn’t fit our group’s criteria. Sorry, lady, but this isn’t a fashion show!
Makeup? Most of us seem to avoid it. You’ll find moms wandering the cosmetics aisle, but very few actually wear any makeup during our “meetings.” Many prefer to wear caps pulled down low, hiding their bare faces. And what about lipstick? I’m more familiar with lip balm than anything else.
Kids are a must for this club. During our 2.5-hour meetings, it’s a battlefield. Kids are running, throwing things, and licking random items. I once saw a toddler licking shoes off the shelf. Hilarious when it’s not your kid, right?
The other moms in this secret society are fantastic negotiators, often coming prepared with bribes for their kids. Some let their little ones don silly hats, while others resort to snacks or toys they have no intention of buying. It’s chaos, but it’s a shared struggle.
I’m grateful for this community of moms who understand the challenges we face. They don’t judge us when our kids act out. Instead, we exchange knowing smiles that say, “Hang in there, mama. It gets easier.”
I genuinely appreciate this group. It’s a support system I haven’t found anywhere else. No way am I shopping at Wal-Mart or Whole Foods unless I’m feeling fabulous. Target has everything we need.
So, here’s to my Secret SAHM Club and all my wonderfully disheveled friends. I can finally say, I, Claire Thompson, belong.
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Summary
This blog explores the often misunderstood world of stay-at-home moms, emphasizing the realities of their social lives and the supportive community found in their local Target. With humor and honesty, the author shares relatable experiences of motherhood, highlighting the importance of camaraderie among moms amidst the chaos of parenting.
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