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I remember feeling completely overwhelmed while driving home from work during my pregnancy with my first child. My partner and I had decided I would stay home, and the thought of managing housework with a newborn filled me with anxiety. I wondered how new moms even found time to shower, let alone pay bills or prepare meals.
This was nearly two decades ago, before social media, so I relied on my mother and her generation for guidance as I was the first in my circle to have a baby. My mother assured me that babies sleep all day, giving me plenty of time to tackle chores. I started to relax, believing that without a demanding job and commute, I would manage just fine. After all, my mom managed with three kids.
However, our first night home was a rude awakening. We didn’t sleep at all; our baby cried the entire night, and I was struggling with breastfeeding. My aspirations to clean the house and prepare snacks for visitors quickly vanished. I wanted no one in my home, especially when I was exhausted and overwhelmed.
Despite my baby finally sleeping in the morning, I pushed myself to clean and organize, thinking it was expected of me. I had no idea that nearly two decades later, the exhaustion from that experience would still linger. I felt frustrated by visitors wanting to see the baby when I just wanted to rest.
It took me time—almost a year—to realize that prioritizing my well-being was crucial for taking care of my baby. I learned that those precious nap times were not meant for chores, but for me to recharge. I was anxious and depressed, constantly pushing myself to complete tasks that could wait.
We need to normalize the idea that becoming a parent is a significant life change. Women are often praised for returning to work early or keeping their homes spotless shortly after giving birth. This shouldn’t be the standard! Your primary focus as a new mother should be on your health and caring for your child. Ditch the guilt about not mopping the floors or preparing fancy meals.
Taking care of yourself is vital, especially when your baby is resting. No one else will remind you to take a break or to relax. It’s essential to let go of the notion that you must do everything. This is a moment to establish a new routine that prioritizes your well-being over household chores.
With my second two children, I changed my approach. I refused visitors until I felt ready, took naps when needed, and allowed myself to enjoy downtime. This shift made me much happier. If you find joy in accomplishing tasks while your baby sleeps, that’s great! But don’t hold yourself to unrealistic expectations, as this will only lead to burnout.
Remember, in the grand scheme of things, maintaining a clean house pales in comparison to your well-being. Focus on what truly matters during this precious time with your family.
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Summary: New mothers should prioritize their well-being over household chores. The transition to motherhood is a significant life change, and it’s essential to allow yourself time to recharge rather than feeling pressured to keep up with domestic responsibilities. Focus on taking care of yourself and your baby, and remember that maintaining a clean home is not as important as your health and happiness during this period.