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I can’t recall a single moment in my life when I thought about not having children. In fact, the idea of parenthood was always part of my grandest dreams. While motherhood wasn’t my only aspiration, it was definitely among my top desires. I married someone who shared that vision, and eight and a half years ago, we welcomed our first child. Five years later, we expanded our family again, and at the start of 2020, we added one more to our crew. With three children, our family-building journey is now complete, and our focus is on raising them.
Recently, comedian Alex Johnson stirred up quite a conversation when he told a podcast host that he and his partner, Sarah Lane, are “absolutely thrilled” about not having kids. “I don’t know anyone who gets as much joy from their non-kids as we do,” he exclaimed. “We’re so excited all the time! We spend our Saturday mornings lounging, watching movies in our pajamas. If we had kids, that wouldn’t be happening.”
Every parent knows he has a point. My Saturday mornings often involve animated films, a preschooler needing assistance, and a collection of wilted flowers. Not quite the same vibe!
While I wouldn’t trade my life for anything, I recognize that some people feel just as fulfilled in their choice not to have children. It’s important to acknowledge that many individuals know deep down that parenthood isn’t for them, and that choice deserves respect.
We must stop pressuring others to have kids. It’s simply rude. Where do we get the idea that we know what’s best for someone else’s life? If an adult shares their decision, the most respectful response is, “Okay!” Everyone has the right to express their choice without facing unsolicited opinions.
We can’t fully understand why someone opts out of parenthood. Some just don’t want kids, while others may have health concerns or have reassessed their desires over time. No one owes us their entire backstory, regardless of how close we are. The fact is, for some individuals, raising children is not part of their plan, and that’s perfectly valid.
Attempting to pressure someone into parenthood won’t change their mind. What do we hope to achieve by making it uncomfortable? Dismissing comments like “Oh, you’ll change your mind!” doesn’t foster healthy dialogue; it’s just irritating.
Why would we want someone to become a parent if they’re uncertain about it? Parenting can be incredibly challenging, and if there’s no inner desire to raise a child, it could lead to emotional distress. The struggles can overshadow the joys, especially when the desire for children isn’t there.
It’s not a punchline for your awkward jokes. Honestly, if you want to annoy someone, make jokes about something that’s none of your business. When you see their baby, hand it to them and ask, “Are you sure you don’t want one?” That’s a surefire way to crank up the annoyance.
In his interview, Alex Johnson admitted he was once hesitant to express his feelings about not wanting kids. He felt uncomfortable acknowledging that his productivity stems from not having children. But he’s right; for many, a child-free life can provide ample time and energy. If I didn’t have kids, my life would look completely different—not better or worse, just different.
Choosing whether or not to become a parent is deeply personal. Those without children can still have fulfilling relationships with kids as aunts, uncles, coaches, or mentors. They can experience childhood wonders without needing to be parents, and they shouldn’t have to justify that choice to anyone.
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Summary
Choosing not to have kids is a valid and respectable decision. Individuals should feel free to express their choices without facing societal pressure or judgment. Parenthood is not for everyone, and acknowledging that is crucial for fostering understanding and respect among different lifestyles.