My middle child was just four, while my youngest still fit snugly in a wrap on my back. We always gathered at Laura’s house for a break, a catch-up, and a chance for our kids to roam freely while we chatted. There were about five or six of us there, including Emily. We opened Laura’s back door and ushered the kids outside, a lively group ranging from three to seven years old. The little ones dug in the sand while the older kids played tag, and we only focused on any cries of pain.
I don’t recall our exact conversations—maybe about our children, crafts, or what we’d prepare for lunch. Laura’s place wasn’t pristine; the sink was filled with dishes, and the laundry room was overflowing. We sprawled on couches, sometimes nursing babies to sleep.
Suddenly, the back door swung open, and my four-year-old, Max, burst in with a gaggle of kids behind him. He held a shovel and, beaming with pride, announced, “I DUG UP A DEAD CAT!” He then dumped a pile of bones onto the kitchen floor.
I was frozen in shock. My friends erupted in laughter.
I Need More Dead Cat Friends
Emily, Laura, and the others were true friends. I saw their messy homes and their unfiltered selves. When Max dropped those bones, they laughed for what felt like ages. A “dead cat” friend sees you at your worst and rather than judging, they embrace you. They say, “Your chaos? Come and see mine, and we’ll bond over it.”
Dead cat friends accept your varied tastes in music, fashion, or parenting styles. They may disagree but it’s irrelevant; you share the same laundry, dishes, and the nightly dinner dilemma. If your spouse (like mine) handles the cooking, they’ll tell you how lucky you are while still grumbling about what’s for dinner. You listen, because these friends get it.
Dead cat friends don’t blame you when your kids act up. They understand that children can be messy and chaotic. If your kid accidentally colors on the wall or gets sand thrown in their face, you comfort them and shrug, “Eh. Kids will be kids.”
They Love Your Kids
Dead cat friends appreciate your children in all their quirks. They don’t view them as mere accessories to your life; they genuinely care about them. When Max dumped the bones, they laughed, knowing he aspired to be a paleontologist. They remembered which baby wraps my youngest preferred and how my oldest often got into trouble with Laura’s son but not with Emily’s.
True dead cat friends not only adore your children but also celebrate them. You find joy in their little victories, like when Laura’s son joyfully declares, “My butt, my butt, my butt is in the circus!” (That kid is now a teenager, but I still chuckle at that memory.) You admire their kids’ unique styles and play along with their imaginative games.
And it’s reciprocal. Dead cat friends take the time to engage with your children, who in turn, recognize the warmth and care and respond accordingly. When you arrive at their home, your kids rush inside, calling out for their friends, knowing the rules and routines of their second home.
I Miss My Dead Cat Friends
Time moves on, friends relocate, and circumstances shift. I currently have one true dead cat friend left. As our kids grow, the topics of conversation have evolved beyond baby care, but we can still share a laugh about her son’s voice changing or gossip about life’s little happenings.
Samantha has even tidied up my home without asking. That’s what dead cat friends do. When we both got vaccinated, she was the first friend I visited indoors, and I joyfully exclaimed, “I’M TOUCHING YOUR COUNTERS!” She laughed with me, embodying what it means to be a true friend.
I know her favorite books and can name her pets. She’s given me fresh eggs, and now my kids refuse to eat anything else. They would hug her if not for the pandemic. When I visit, I know where to park and how to navigate her tricky backyard gate. She knows how to soothe my whiny seven-year-old.
I genuinely adore her kids.
I long for more dead cat friends, but I’d rather have one amazing dead cat friend than a multitude of ordinary acquaintances. Samantha might not appreciate the term “dead cat friend,” but I hope Mrs. Whiskers understands.
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Summary
The article discusses the importance of having genuine friendships among parents, exemplified through the concept of “dead cat friends,” who embrace each other’s chaos and love each other’s children. The author reflects on personal experiences with friends, the evolution of friendships as children grow, and the longing for deeper connections in parenting.