There was a time when my partner, Alex, thought that sending me a Valentine’s card was optional. She soon realized it was a must, and she quickly corrected that oversight. To be fair, we were just beginning our relationship. Since then, she has consistently made sure to give me a card. I’ve had my share of missteps too, like hesitating to leave our little one with a babysitter for a date night — and later, when our twins arrived, I felt the same reluctance to step away, even just to nurture our bond. After all, what would we even talk about besides the kids?
Recognizing the need to prioritize our romance, we established ground rules to keep the spark alive. It’s not easy to put each other first amidst the busyness of family life, but it’s essential for our relationship. For us, romance is about putting in thoughtful effort, and it doesn’t always require grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s as simple as turning off distractions, sitting close together, and having a meaningful conversation. When was the last time you did that?
To help us stay connected, Alex and I share a calendar on our phones. Though she doesn’t check it often, I send her reminders like “don’t forget, we have a date this weekend,” which often elicits a surprised, “we do?” These little surprises help us carve out time to focus on each other, free from distractions. Living near the ocean gives us the perfect backdrop for a post-date stroll along the beach, adding a romantic touch to our evenings.
Linda Carroll, a relationship coach, emphasizes that while memorable gifts and trips are nice, it’s the consistent small acts of kindness that truly strengthen a relationship. One of my favorite traditions is treating Alex to her favorite curry from a local Indian restaurant on Sundays, a gesture that shows I care, even if it’s not my first choice. It’s these thoughtful actions that remind us of each other’s importance.
When we first started dating, our connection blossomed through online conversations, and I often left little notes in her car with sweet messages. A simple “Have a great day” or “I love you” can go a long way. Replacing impersonal texts with thoughtful words can rekindle that initial spark.
Flowers are another delightful surprise. I occasionally send a bouquet to her office, and she always lights up. It could be anything delivered, a small gift, or even something from Amazon.
If you ever find yourself short on time or ideas, there’s always a simple solution: go to bed naked. The surprise of finding your partner waiting in bed without any clothes can reignite intimacy and connection, even if you just cuddle and chat.
Ultimately, being romantic is about creating space for thoughtfulness and connection. It doesn’t have to be elaborate; even the simplest gestures that show you’re thinking of your partner can have a profound impact on your relationship. If you’re interested in more insights on nurturing relationships, check out this blog post for additional tips.