To the mother who didn’t have the chance to enjoy a typical childhood, I want you to know that I see you. I recognize the pain you carry as you navigate parenthood, a constant reminder of the mistreatment and abuse you endured from those who were meant to care for you. Your heart aches daily for the joys and innocence you were denied during your formative years.
Allow me to emphasize this: You did not deserve any of the abuse, neglect, or mistreatment you faced. None of it was your fault. Your caregivers were responsible for ensuring your safety, nurturing your spirit, and allowing you to be a child. They let you down.
You, however, have not failed. It’s crucial to internalize this truth. Every day, you make the conscious choice to break the cycle of abuse that has affected your family for too long. You actively choose to create a loving environment for your children and yourself.
When you reassure your children that they are loved unconditionally, allowing them to drift off to sleep without fear of earning your affection, you are breaking that cycle. When your child feels safe confiding in you after a mistake, rather than shrinking in fear, you are making a difference. Each moment spent cheering them on during their activities or cuddling on the couch, showing them that you not only love them but enjoy their company too, is a step toward healing.
Every apology you offer and acknowledgment of your own mistakes, clarifying that your child is not responsible for your happiness, continues to disrupt that generational cycle. When you set boundaries to protect your child from those who don’t value or respect them, you are reinforcing a healthier dynamic. Seeking help for yourself so you can be your best self is another way you’re making progress.
I see the effort you put in, and I understand how challenging this work can be. You may feel exhausted and question your abilities. Every day, you strive to keep those negative thoughts from your past at bay. But keep pushing forward. Build the life your children deserve—the life you missed out on.
Take a moment to reflect on all the ways your children will never have to endure what you did. Be proud of the parent you’ve chosen to become. Your children are incredibly fortunate to have you as their mother. Remember to love yourself with the same intensity that you love them. You are deserving of love and compassion, especially from yourself.
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In summary, you are a strong mother who is rewriting the narrative for your children. Your commitment to breaking the cycle of abuse is commendable, and your journey toward healing will not only benefit you but also create a nurturing environment for your family.