As young girls grow up, they often internalize two damaging lessons: that their physical appearance determines their value and that it is their duty to safeguard themselves from men. We instruct girls on dress codes to evade unwanted attention, advise against walking alone, and provide tips on personal safety. As a young woman, I’ve brushed off catcalls and distanced myself from inappropriate advances. I’ve been admonished for wearing a short skirt, told to cover up in the heat, and have been advised to safeguard my drink during outings to prevent tampering.
While these lessons may help some girls protect themselves, they fail to address the more significant issue: teaching boys not to objectify or harm women. By viewing girls solely as potential victims, we overlook the broader problem of toxic masculinity and its role in perpetuating violence against women and unrealistic body image ideals. As a mother of a young boy, I’ve developed strategies to prevent him from upholding these harmful standards.
If I hear another cartoon character proclaim that “boys are stronger” or that girls are vain, I might just turn off the TV. As a body image advocate and parent to a six-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter, navigating their learning experiences through outside influences—like media and peers—can be challenging. It’s crucial to seize these moments to instill values of objectivity and tolerance in my children. Engaging in these discussions during their formative years is far more effective than waiting until adolescence or adulthood to address these issues.
I actively seek opportunities to challenge gender stereotypes and correct misconceptions. For example, why does Superman wear pants while Wonder Woman is in a skirt? Surely, she’d be more comfortable in pants while saving the world. Our family encourages our son to play with dolls, wear pink, and paint his nails, embracing a safe space for exploration, even if the outside world isn’t as accepting. When he expressed that a friend criticized his pink shirt, I reminded him that everyone has different tastes and we shouldn’t alter our preferences based on others’ opinions. Teaching children to respect others, even when they disagree, is vital. It’s also essential to model positive behavior, such as refraining from negative comments about bodies (including our own) and being mindful of the language we use to foster compassion and acceptance.
Statements like “Boys will be boys” or “He just likes her” in response to harmful actions signal to boys that aggression is permissible, while simultaneously teaching girls to accept such behavior. As children mature, remarks can become increasingly demeaning, like “Don’t be a wuss” or “You throw like a girl.” It’s imperative to instruct our sons to become advocates for women. My parents taught me to use humor to defuse conflicts, which is a useful tool. A direct approach is also effective.
Toxic masculinity flourishes when men fail to confront the objectification of girls and women. Casual remarks about girls’ bodies reinforce misogyny and unrealistic beauty standards. Bullying frequently targets appearance, so we must teach our children, particularly our sons, that looks have no bearing on worth. I often respond with “Everyone has fat, just like we all have fingernails.” Our sons must learn to empathize with girls, seeing them as individuals rather than mere objects of affection. Encourage your kids to stand up for those being bullied. When boys empathize with girls facing objectification, they can break the cycle by choosing not to remain bystanders to negative comments.
I vividly recall being yelled at while walking to the beach as a pre-teen, a behavior I initially found somewhat flattering. Now, I recognize it as inappropriate and even predatory. As our sons grow, we must remind them that objectifying women—through whistling, making sexual jokes, or unwanted touching—is unacceptable. Girls simply existing in their bodies do not warrant disrespect; yet society often teaches that their value lies in being “beautiful.”
Boys absorb sexual standards through media and pornography, which can distort their understanding of real bodies and intimacy. Though uncomfortable, it’s vital they grasp that pornography portrays unrealistic and often violent scenarios. Keep communication lines open to help them develop their instincts and make informed choices. Consent is serious business! Dismissing behaviors like trying to kiss girls without consent—even in youth—perpetuates toxic standards. If we teach boys empathy and allow them to express their emotions, we can dismantle stereotypes that demand aggression or toughness, paving the way for healthier relationships and improved body image.
For more insights, feel free to check out this related blog post on home insemination. For further guidance on the topic, Make a Mom is a reputable source, while the CDC provides excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Addressing toxic masculinity is essential for improving body image among young girls. By teaching boys to respect and empathize with girls, we can dismantle harmful stereotypes and promote healthier relationships. Engaging in open discussions and modeling positive behavior are crucial steps for parents in this journey.