Let’s face it, I’m not the mom who spends hours on the floor playing with you, lost in the world of My Little Pony, or the one who builds elaborate cities in Minecraft. I’ve never delved into Pokémon, and to be honest, I’m probably never going to. I know I may fall short in some traditional aspects of parenting, but I’m okay with that.
I am incredibly grateful for my partner, Jake, who shines in the realm of animated shows and video games. Watching him toss a football with the kids in the yard brings a smile to my face. (And believe me, there are strict no-ball-throwing rules inside—trust me on this one!) Their playful wrestling and laughter is a joy to behold, and while I’m not the one leading those activities, I cherish those moments.
In my early days, I was a young, anxious soon-to-be mom, determined to welcome you into this world and love you fiercely. I juggled two boys as a single mother, working long hours yet still managing to dance around the living room with them, belting out our favorite songs. Even before you arrived, I was indulging in cherry cheesecake just to catch a glimpse of your little kicks (and, let’s be honest, because I love cheesecake).
The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you’d have my heart forever. After two more little bundles joined our family, my heart expanded to embrace each of you. I remember those sleepless nights, gazing at my precious babies, feeling the weight of their tiny bodies against my chest. Even now, when I see you asleep, I can still envision those days of footie pajamas and wispy hair.
I was the mom who rocked you to sleep, soothing you with gentle shushes when you cried. I worried over every bump and bruise, kissed your scrapes, and spent countless hours in waiting rooms for broken bones or cuts. I was that mom who clung to your leg during preschool tours and took online classes to be more present for you.
I’m the one who signs your school notes, checks your homework, and packs your lunches. I schedule doctor and dentist appointments, and I prioritize your needs, even if it means wearing thrift store clothes for years. I’m the one who cracks corny jokes and sings off-key just to see your smiles—those smiles mean the world to me.
But there are days when I feel like I’m failing. I’m a mom living with chronic, recurring depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I manage PTSD and deal with chronic migraines and pain. I often joke that I see more doctors than I do hair stylists—although, honestly, I can’t even recall my last haircut! I’m the mom who struggles each day to maintain a sense of normalcy in your lives.
I tackle laundry, even when I need to take breaks to sit down. I ensure bills are paid so you can have warm showers and I nag you to wear deodorant and brush your teeth. But I also forget small things—like the epic gaming achievements you shared with me just yesterday. I may forget names or stats, but I’m always tuned in to your emotions. I can spot when you’re upset, and I listen when you’re excited or angry.
I’m the mom who would fight off dragons to protect you, even as I sometimes struggle to find the energy to cook dinner. I let you indulge in too much macaroni and pizza rolls, and I often face piles of laundry that I simply can’t manage to fold. I’m that mom who gets overwhelmed easily and occasionally needs to retreat for a moment of peace. There are times I cry in the bathroom because I feel I’ve let you down.
Yet, I’m also the mom who lies awake at night, worrying about your futures. I wish I could bottle up all those hugs and “I love you’s” for the days when they seem scarce. I want you to know how deeply I love you. You are my lifeline, and I strive to be the parent you deserve, even on the days when I feel like I’m not the one you want.
If you’re interested in exploring more about parenting and fertility, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination or browse Make a Mom for trustworthy at-home insemination kits. For those seeking valuable information on fertility, Science Daily is an excellent resource.
In summary, I may not fit the mold of the “perfect mom,” but I pour my heart and soul into being the best parent I can be. My love for you is immeasurable, and I promise to keep trying every single day.
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