My partner has a playful habit that always excites me while we’re out shopping at the grocery store or Target. He sneaks up behind me and whispers, “Well, hello, Miss,” as if we’re strangers.
When he first started this two years ago during our early days together, I thought it was just the thrill of a new relationship that sparked my desire. But no, he still does it, and it still ignites that same passion in me. This playful approach has encouraged me to explore role playing in the bedroom—something I had never considered before meeting him.
Since he took the initial step into role-playing, I felt empowered to join him in this fun exploration. Let’s face it: having a long-term sexual relationship can become a bit monotonous. It’s perfectly fine to acknowledge that and to seek out a little more excitement in the bedroom. Variety truly is the spice of life! Just like we wouldn’t eat the same food every day, our bodies also crave diverse feelings and experiences. One fantastic way to introduce this variety with your partner is through role playing.
I know the thought of role playing can make many of us feel a little awkward, and that’s completely normal. After all, most of us cringe at the sound of our own voices in videos, let alone the idea of acting out a scenario to seduce our partners. To help us overcome this hesitation, I spoke with a few intimacy experts. Gigi Engle, a certified sex coach and sexologist, provided some insightful tips on how to get comfortable with role playing. “The idea is to immerse yourself completely into character. It’s like creating your own adult film,” she suggests.
What a fun idea! You could watch an adult film together and reenact your favorite scene. No need to record it, but if you do, it could add another layer of excitement to your relationship, enhancing your intimacy. Engle describes role playing as a “choose your own adventure” for your sex life. It allows you to explore fantasies and kinks outside of your usual routine. “You can embody anyone you wish and engage in anything you desire,” she explains.
Treating role playing as a new, exciting game can ease the initial awkwardness and help you both get started. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to approach it. According to Engle, “As long as you prioritize safety and respect for each other, the experience can be rewarding.”
You don’t need elaborate costumes or special lighting either; keeping it simple can be just as effective. For example, you could pretend to be a character and flirt with your partner. However, if you’re feeling adventurous and want to dive into more elaborate scenarios, this is a great opportunity to use some fun props or costumes.
For instance, if you want to explore a college student/professor dynamic, you could grab a casual outfit and some faux glasses for your partner to wear, Engle suggests.
Megan Harrison, a relationship therapist and founder of Couples Candy, also shared a great way to start role playing: by pretending to be strangers meeting for the first time. Here’s how to do it: set up a date night where you both agree on a time and place to meet. One of you arrives first, dressed in a style that’s different from your usual look. When the other arrives, you both act as if you don’t know each other. Start flirting and maybe even buying each other drinks. Even if you feel a bit awkward at first, you’ll quickly settle into the game.
And even if things don’t go as planned and you end up laughing, that experience can still draw you closer together, giving you a memorable story to share. Ideally, you might discover a new way to keep things exciting and passionate simply by stepping into a different persona for a little while.
If you’re interested in trying this but aren’t sure how to bring it up with your partner, consider sharing this article with them. Or, the next time you’re in a public setting together, sneak up from behind and playfully act as if you don’t know them—you might just find that role playing is more enjoyable than you ever imagined.
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Summary:
Incorporating role play into your intimate life can add excitement and variety to long-term relationships. By starting with simple scenarios and gradually exploring more elaborate setups, couples can reignite their passion. Whether pretending to be strangers or reenacting scenes from adult films, the key is to have fun and communicate openly with your partner.