A few months back, I found myself aimlessly scrolling through TikTok when I stumbled upon a delightful video featuring a plus-size woman sipping wine. She was passionately critiquing the glaring absence of body diversity on ABC’s The Bachelor franchise. She began by saying she had “a bone to pick” with the show, sharing that she’s been a loyal viewer since the beginning but has never seen anyone who resembles her. Her point about the lack of representation impacting societal views on fat women finding love resonated deeply.
What really drew me in was her engaging personality, prompting me to explore her content further. This charming TikToker is Alex Rivers, a body-positive lifestyle influencer from Chicago, along with her self-proclaimed “fat best friend,” event planner Mia Johnson. Together, they host the podcast “SwipeFat,” which delves into the intricate dynamics of dating while fat.
To be frank, dating isn’t something I often ponder. After all, I’ve been happily married for years, having met my husband when I was just eighteen. He was my first boyfriend, and that chapter of my life was mostly set. Yet, Alex and Mia’s TikTok presence felt so relatable and welcoming that I couldn’t resist heading to Apple Podcasts to tune into “SwipeFat.” Despite my lack of dating experience, I found myself nodding along, engaged by their relatable discussions as a fellow fat woman, regardless of my marital status. I even felt a twinge of envy that they get to be friends in real life while I merely listen.
Fortunately, Alex and Mia sat down with Home Insemination Kit to discuss their podcast, their bodies, their friendship, and the dating landscape in 2021.
On Why Representation Matters:
Alex expressed, “We’re slowly seeing more diversity in media, but reality TV still largely excludes fat bodies. How is that reflective of real life? It’s crucial to see ourselves represented in these narratives. We all desire happiness, love, and a fairytale ending, and when we don’t see ourselves in those situations, it makes it harder to envision that for ourselves.”
On Finding Confidence in a Fat Body:
Mia shared her experience: “I’ve been fat my whole life. In my previous job in radio, I faced public bullying, which left scars. I lost weight but still wasn’t content. It was through internal work that I truly began to love myself.”
Alex added, “I wasn’t always confident either. My journey began on Instagram as a food blogger. It’s rare to find a fat food blogger who openly shares their body and love for food!”
On the Power of the Word “Fat”:
“‘Fat’ is just a descriptor, just like ‘thin.’ It’s unfortunate that we’ve demonized it by associating it with laziness or poor health,” Alex emphasized. “You can be fat and healthy, just as you can be thin and unhealthy.”
On the Challenges of Dating While Fat:
Mia noted, “Dating is tough for everyone, but being fat adds another layer. We often feel the need to put disclaimers on our profiles, despite showing our bodies. The worry about disappointing someone when they see us in person is real. Then there are those who fetishize fat bodies, making it complicated to find genuine connections.”
On Learning from Rejection:
Alex reflected, “Rejection can be a teacher. Once you experience it, you realize it’s not as dreadful as you imagined. It takes time to build a thick skin, but we must remember we hold power in these situations as well.”
Dating Tips for Fat Bodies:
- Take the plunge: “Even if you’re nervous, you must start somewhere. The fear is often more daunting than the act itself,” Mia advised.
- Collaborate with friends: Build your dating profile with friends for support. “It made the process fun for me,” Mia shared.
- Use authentic photos: “Select images that radiate confidence while being true to yourself,” Alex recommended.
In addition to their podcast, Alex and Mia star in a series on FreebieTV called “Dating in the Modern Age,” showcasing their dating experiences as fat women during a pandemic. They also run a private Facebook group for fat women navigating similar dating challenges.
“Many women lack a fat friend to share their experiences with,” Mia remarked. “Creating the SwipeFat podcast and community has validated so many thoughts and feelings.”
Ultimately, Alex Stewart and Mia Johnson are inspiring figures who remind other fat women that they deserve love and fulfilling relationships. “Being fat doesn’t diminish your worth in a relationship,” Mia affirmed.
You can find “SwipeFat” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts for more insights and laughs.
For further reading, check out our other blog post here, and if you’re considering home insemination, make sure to visit Make a Mom, a trusted resource on the subject. Also, Progyny offers excellent insights into pregnancy and home insemination.