Let’s face it, I swear—quite a bit, actually. The word “hell” is one of my favorites; it’s expressive and versatile. I believe it’s almost always fitting. “Crap”? Love that too. “Damn”? A classic. And “jerk”? Well, that’s practically a term of endearment in my household. I’m an adult, and I’m free to speak my mind, and honestly, I couldn’t care less about your opinion.
Most mornings kick off smoothly: “Oh, crap! We need to hurry up, or we’ll be late!” I might add, “Don’t forget that water bottle again!” I try to keep the swearing to a minimum at first so the kids can start their day positively. But once they’re out of the car, the true version of me emerges, and let’s just say, she has a colorful vocabulary.
I don’t know about you, but I consider myself a fantastic driver. I’m well aware of the rules of the road, but it seems not everyone else is as skilled. I feel it’s my duty to voice my frustrations—without any rude gestures, of course, to avoid escalating situations. Instead, I just vent to myself about the drivers who shouldn’t even be on the road during a downpour. And don’t get me started on those “sunshine slowpokes.” They should just hand over their keys and get a bus pass. And if someone honks at me at a red light? Seriously, chill out—it’s only just turned green!
While I often resort to “hell,” there are other fun words in my repertoire. “Crap” is another favorite. It’s so adaptable: “I can’t grasp this crap,” “Pick up your crap, now,” and “I don’t care what he said—I said no!” And my personal favorite is, “Holy crap!” which works for everything from surprise to deep sadness. It even pairs well with “Oh my goodness!” That’s my way of tying in my upbringing while keeping it PG for the moment, much to my mother’s delight.
Don’t you ever feel the urge to call someone a jerk? I definitely do, and I tend to use that term frequently. It’s quite versatile: you can be a jerk, act like one, or just spot someone who’s clearly a jerk. My husband knows this term well; for a while, he thought it was his middle name!
Speaking of my husband, he’s no stranger to cursing either. If we were to count the number of times he yells “Motherf***er!” at his computer, he’d easily win. I usually stick to “this Wi-Fi is such a pain!” That one rolls off the tongue nicely, don’t you think? However, there’s one curse I avoid entirely. It starts with a “c” and ends with three other letters, and it just makes me uncomfortable. Even if someone is truly terrible, I won’t sink to that level. In a home where we let loose, that word stays in its corner. After all, we do have standards.
You might think I need a swear jar to keep things in check around my kids, but do they accept debit? Because I certainly don’t carry cash for that. My kids understand that this is just how I express myself, and they know the “do as I say, not as I do” rule. They realize that using such colorful language is for adults who have earned that privilege. If they ever did curse, they would only embarrass me, and we can’t have that tarnish my perfect parenting record!
Some days, I don’t curse much at all. I might tell my husband he’s acting like a jerk, but I don’t always go as far as to call him one. Not every word I say is vulgar; I have plenty of nice things to say too. “I love your haircut!” “Your daughter is adorable!” “I’m so proud of your hard work.” “Oh no! I just cut my finger.” “Oops, I thought you’d like this shirt.” I’m nice; I just enjoy adding a little spice to my language now and then. Is that so wrong?
I’m definitely not the type to sit quietly and sweetly. If that’s what you’re looking for, keep moving. But if you want to exchange some colorful language, have a seat. It’s a pleasure to meet you!
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In summary, I embrace my colorful language around my kids without worrying too much about it. They understand the difference between adult conversation and their own speech. While I might spice things up with a curse here and there, I still express plenty of positivity and care. After all, life is too short not to enjoy a good expletive every now and then!