Updated: April 7, 2021
Originally Published: April 6, 2021
When my son was just a year and a half old, I began to suspect he might be autistic. From the moment he was born, I recognized he was different from his older brother. It took a while for me to connect those differences to autism, especially since his behavior didn’t fit the typical mold. After much persistence, we finally received a diagnosis just before his third birthday. I had always known my son was unique.
I felt a rush of emotions upon receiving the diagnosis, but not in the way many might expect. I wasn’t grieving for a child I didn’t have or worrying about his future. I was simply overwhelmed by my own lack of knowledge. I feared that I might not be the right mom for a neurodivergent child.
I thought he deserved a mother who could keep everything organized—someone who had a pristine home filled with Montessori toys and healthy organic snacks. Instead, I felt like he was getting a chaotic mom with a penchant for plastic dinosaurs and frozen dinners. I worried whether my love and commitment would be enough for him.
Since then, I’ve been careful about where I get my information regarding autism. I’ve discovered an incredible wealth of knowledge from autistic adults who share their experiences and insights. This has been an enlightening journey for me. Recently, a notable figure shared her perspective on autism, which really resonated with me. She highlighted how she doesn’t view being on the spectrum as a negative; in fact, she sees it as something to celebrate.
When I share that Walker is autistic, I often encounter pity. This reaction is baffling. “Oh, I’m sorry. He seems so normal to me!” Normal? What does that even mean? Walker is perfectly himself, and being autistic is a part of that. There’s no need for pity. I have the privilege of raising an incredible, funny, and bright boy. He deserves to be celebrated for who he is without pressure to fit into a neurotypical mold.
While I may need to navigate the challenges of parenthood, I don’t need help coping with Walker’s diagnosis. All he truly needs is time, space, and the freedom to be himself. Together, we enjoy a joyful journey as he grows on his own terms.
Every autistic individual presents differently, and while some parents may feel grief upon receiving a similar diagnosis, it is essential to understand that their feelings are valid. They might simply be influenced by narratives that paint autism in a negative light.
For me, there’s no need to cope; there’s only the joy of raising a child who teaches me just as much as I hope to teach him.
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In summary, Walker is exactly who he is meant to be, and our journey together is a celebration of his individuality. The focus should be on understanding and appreciating the unique contributions of autistic individuals rather than viewing them through a lens of pity or fear.