Here’s the truth: I swear. A lot. “Freaking” is one of my go-to words. It can express joy, frustration, or anger. Honestly, I think it’s almost always fitting. “Crap” is another favorite. And “jerk”? That’s like a term of endearment in my world. I’m an adult, and I speak my mind. I’m not bothered by what anyone else thinks.
Morning Madness
Most mornings are pretty laid-back: “Oh, crap! We’d better hurry up or we’ll be late.” I might follow that with, “Don’t forget that darn water bottle again.” I try to keep things somewhat clean at the start of the day, you know, so the kids have a good beginning. But once they’re out of the car, the real me comes out—and she definitely has a colorful vocabulary.
Driving Dilemmas
Like many, I consider myself a skilled driver. I know the rules, but not everyone else seems to. I feel it’s my duty to let them know. I refrain from hand gestures because, well, you never know who’s watching. Instead, I vent my frustrations out loud. Seriously, why do people decide to hit the road during a downpour? And don’t even get me started on those “sunshine slowpokes.” Give me a break! Did you just honk at me at a red light? Chill out, speed demon, it just turned green!
Versatile Vocabulary
I don’t always drop the f-bomb, though. There are plenty of other fun words. “Crap” is super versatile. For example, “I don’t get this crap.” “Clean up your stuff, now.” “I don’t care what he said, I said no.” My top pick has to be, “Holy crap!” It can express surprise or deep sadness, plus it pairs nicely with other colorful phrases from my Catholic upbringing. My mom would be so proud of her tuition investment.
Endearing Terms
Sometimes, you just feel the urge to call someone a jerk. I know I do. I’ve used that word plenty. My husband is quite familiar with it—at one point, he might have thought it was his actual name. But that’s a story for another time.
Tech Troubles
Speaking of my husband, I’m not the only one who swears around here. If you counted the daily “Motherfrickers!” shouted at a computer screen, he would definitely take the prize. But when tech gives me trouble, I tend to go with “This son-of-a-gun WiFi never works in this place. I swear we’re switching providers next billing cycle!” It just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? There’s one word I steer clear of, though. It starts with a “c” and ends with three other letters. That one gives me the creeps. Even if I think you’re the worst person ever, I won’t call you that. My husband doesn’t either. In our house, we have some standards.
Swear Jar?
You might think I need a swear jar to keep things in check around the kids, right? Do they accept cards? I don’t keep that kind of cash on me! My kids understand that this is just how I talk, and in our home, it’s definitely a “do as I say, not as I do” scenario. They know that such expressive language is for grown-ups. You have to earn the right to call someone a stupid jerk when they annoy you. That’s a privilege for the seasoned swearers, and they’re just not ready for that kind of responsibility yet. Plus, if they started cursing, it would totally make me look bad!
Kind Words
Some days, I don’t curse as much. I might just tell my husband he’s acting like a fool without actually calling him a jerk. Not everything that comes out of my mouth is profane. I also share kind words. “I love your new haircut.” “Oh my goodness! Your daughter is adorable.” “I’m so proud of you and your hard work.” “Shoot! I just cut my finger.” “Oh no, I thought you’d like this shirt.” I’m a nice person; I just enjoy sprinkling in a curse word here and there. Is that really so terrible?
Conclusion
I’m not a quiet, demure person who just sits back all sweet and soft-spoken. If that’s what you’re looking for, keep moving along. But if you want to exchange some expletives, pull up a chair. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Further Reading
If you’re interested in exploring more about parental openness and communication, check out this other blog post. For authoritative information on family planning, this site is a great resource. Also, for more insights into pregnancy and home insemination, visit this excellent resource.
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In summary, the article discusses the author’s candid relationship with swearing in front of her kids, expressing that while she uses colorful language, she acknowledges the need for appropriate communication around children. She emphasizes the importance of context and maturity when it comes to swearing, and that her kids are still too young to use such language responsibly. The piece balances humor with a reflection on parenting styles and communication.