“Don’t shy away from using a nipple shield,” I shared with a fellow new mom the other day. “Trust me, cracked nipples are no joke!”
“Ooh, brace yourself for some very colorful diapers when your little one tries sweet potatoes!” I advised another mother preparing for her child’s first taste of solids.
When it comes to conversations among new mothers, it can be hard to distinguish between a close friend and a woman you’ve just met. Our shared challenges create a unique bond that often forms rapidly. To clarify, I don’t typically offer unsolicited advice about breastfeeding to strangers. However, when a new mama joins our breastfeeding support group, she’s instantly welcomed into the fold.
This newfound intimacy has led me to identify two distinct categories of friendship in my life. As someone in their early 30s, I’ve entered the phase where many friends are having babies. Two of my closest friends welcomed children just a year after I had mine, and the experience has been enriching. I already know these friends are fantastic, so adding parenting topics to our conversations feels natural. These are my ‘friends who are moms.’
These friends understand that our movie nights now start only after the kids are in bed. They send out invites that read “babies welcome :)” because they know our little ones are part of the equation. Our shared experiences make navigating these new dynamics easier. ‘Friends who are moms’ are like companions who have picked up the same hobby at the same time, and we’re all in it together.
On the flip side, I’ve encountered a different breed of ‘mom friends’—women I might not have connected with otherwise if we hadn’t both given birth around the same time. They’re wonderful individuals, but I often find that while I know all about little Jason’s favorite bedtime story, I know next to nothing about his mother, the person I’ve been confiding in for months. She primarily exists in relation to her child; thus, she’s my ‘mom friend.’
Fortunately, the line between these two groups is not rigid. Many of my ‘friends who are moms’ began as mere acquaintances from our breastfeeding group. Over time, I’ve seen glimpses of their personalities through their social media posts and the articles they share. I’ve started to inquire about their careers, their partners, and their lives outside of motherhood. They’ve transformed into full-fledged individuals in my view.
I anticipate my circle of ‘mom friends’ will expand as my daughter grows older and starts making her own friends (I hear birthday parties can be a whole new adventure for parents). I may need to brush up on my small talk skills and remember which topics are best left untouched. Eventually, those playdates will evolve into my daughter forming her own friendships, and ‘mom friends’ will transition into casual mentions of “Emma’s mom.”
For now, I find myself in the peculiar position of discussing nipple creams and diaper contents with women I just met moments ago. This unexpected closeness among ‘mom friends’ develops surprisingly quickly. We are all keenly seeking adult connection and reassurance that our parenting journeys are ‘normal,’ leading us to grasp at shared experiences. While these situational friendships might not carry the depth of my long-standing relationships, they are undeniably valuable.
If you’re interested in more discussions on pregnancy and related topics, check out this post on intracervical insemination for additional insights. For those considering at-home insemination, Make A Mom offers reliable syringe kits that can help. For comprehensive information on home insemination and pregnancy, the CDC provides excellent resources.
In summary, whether you find yourself in the company of ‘friends who are moms’ or ‘mom friends,’ each relationship brings its own unique support and camaraderie. These bonds may vary in depth, but they play a crucial role in navigating the challenges of motherhood.
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