A few years back, while I was upstairs putting together new shelves in our master closet, chaos unfolded downstairs. We had just moved into a new home, scoring a great deal because it required a lot of work. Everything felt like a good idea at the signing table, but as I pulled up carpet and patched walls, stress quickly overwhelmed me.
That stress reached a boiling point when I came down to find my four-year-old daughter had turned our kitchen into a juice waterfall. She had attempted to pour herself a glass and ended up creating a scene reminiscent of a flood—one that would make “Titanic” proud. In my frustration, I yelled, throwing out the usual parental clichés: “I don’t have time for this!” and “What were you thinking?”
But as I looked at my daughter, who was holding a towel and clearly trying to manage the mess, I realized she had done exactly what I had been encouraging her to do. She had taken the initiative to get juice and attempted to clean up her mistake. Instead of recognizing her efforts, I had reacted out of anger.
Reflecting on that moment has been particularly poignant during the pandemic. Like many parents, I have felt overwhelmed—concerned about our finances and dealing with the anxiety of a loved one’s health crisis. I found myself snapping at my children in ways that echoed my earlier reaction to the juice incident.
This brings me to the concept of a “redo,” a term I learned from a talk at my church. A father shared how he had a difficult interaction with his son, and instead of letting it fester, he took a moment to pause and say, “Let’s try this again.” He apologized for losing his temper, which opened the door for honest communication and modeled how to make amends in relationships.
I did the same with my daughter after the juice spill; I apologized for my outburst and praised her for the independence she had shown. Together, we cleaned up the mess and got her a fresh cup of juice. It turned into a valuable learning experience for both of us, and I’ve since used this strategy numerous times with my kids.
If you’re interested in mastering the art of the redo, check out this wonderful list from ourmamavillage on Instagram. They share various ways to rebuild connections with children after conflicts. One particular insight that resonated with me was:
“Not helpful: You made me so mad! I couldn’t help but yell.
Helpful: I felt really frustrated before. Sometimes I feel frustrated and that’s ok, but it wasn’t ok for me to yell at you. I’m sorry.”
Honestly, I’ve encountered many similar moments since the pandemic began. This challenging time has put immense pressure on parents, juggling education, health risks, and job uncertainties. It’s crucial to teach our children how to repair relationships amidst stressful situations. This not only strengthens our bond with them but also equips them with essential skills for their future relationships.
For more insights on this topic, be sure to check out this related post. Additionally, if you’re exploring the world of home insemination, sites like Make a Mom are great resources. For those considering fertility options, the NHS provides excellent information here.
Summary
The ‘juice spill incident’ taught me valuable lessons about patience and taking a moment to reflect before reacting. It also highlighted the importance of modeling healthy communication and conflict resolution for my children, especially in stressful times like the pandemic.