Yesterday marked the two-month checkup for my little one, Max. During this visit, the pediatrician casually inquired about my nursing routine. That simple question plunged me into an internal struggle. Am I the mom who sticks to a strict feeding schedule, or am I the one who lets Max nurse on demand?
I can easily list the advantages of both feeding approaches. Scheduled feedings bring:
- Improved digestive regularity
- Reduced chances of mindless snacking
- Better regulation of milk supply
- More manageable outing planning
On the flip side, on-demand feeding offers:
- Less crying
- Ample milk supply
- A more relaxed lifestyle filled with bonding moments
The truth is, I embody elements of both methods. I’m a driven mom who needs her baby to fit into her lifestyle, yet I also crave those tender moments of nursing, baby-wearing, and enjoying skin-to-skin time. The question posed by my doctor represented a broader dilemma in the world of parenting.
I want to embrace both, but is that even feasible? It seems there’s no community for moms who identify with both sides of this ongoing debate. Often, we’re shown a stark contrast, as displayed in a meme I stumbled upon earlier today.
Feeling Conflicted
Let me clarify just how conflicted I feel when I’m torn between two parenting philosophies. On a typical Tuesday morning, I might be preparing lunch for my older kids while Max is fussing in his bouncer. I scoop him up, place him in the Baby Bjorn against my chest, and continue with my day. He relaxes, observes his surroundings, and eventually drifts off to sleep.
In that moment, I feel empowered and successful, like I’m meeting his needs perfectly.
However, just 15 minutes later, nature calls, and my older daughter needs assistance with her project. Suddenly, I feel trapped. I begin the delicate maneuver of transferring Max to his crib, only for him to wake up ten minutes later.
The next morning, I decide to try a different approach. Remembering the previous day’s chaos, I place Max in his crib for a nap while I manage lunch prep for the older kids. As I hear him crying, my stress levels rise. I go in to soothe him, but despite my efforts, he remains restless.
Eventually, I can’t take it anymore. I scoop him up, pressing him against me while I softly shush him. Every instinct tells me to hold him close. I grab the Baby Bjorn again, and once more, I feel successful.
But soon after, a call from the pharmacy interrupts my peace, and I realize I need to go out. I glance at the car seat and regret not putting him down there instead of the Bjorn. Frustrated, I transfer him to the car seat, only for him to wake up once again.
The Feeding Cycle
This cycle continues with feeding as well. There are days when I like to keep track of when he last nursed, helping me differentiate between tired cries and hunger cues. Knowing his feeding schedule eases my stress during errands, giving me the freedom to leave him with my partner, Jake, while I tackle my to-do list.
Yet, in the midst of this, I’ve accidentally bumped his head on the car seat, and I know the best remedy is to nurse him again. Despite having just nursed him at home, I sit in the car and offer him my breast. He smiles up at me, and in that moment, I feel empowered once more.
As dinner approaches, and Max is fussing in Jake’s arms, I find myself covered in chicken juice, wishing I could determine what he needs. This ongoing internal conflict plays out in various aspects of parenting.
I adore the feeling of his breath as we snuggle in bed until I want intimacy with Jake and struggle to transfer him to the crib. I love knowing he’s snug in his crib but find myself getting up repeatedly to replace the pacifier, wishing he were in bed with me.
Embracing Both Sides
Why is it so hard to embrace both sides of these parenting ideals? Can we not allow for a blend of baby-wearing and structured feeding? Is it too much to ask for flexibility in our parenting choices?
As I glanced at the doctor, I hesitated before replying. “Sometimes he feeds eight times a day, sometimes it’s fewer. I’m really not sure,” I admitted. She smiled, reassured me that Max was thriving, then shifted the focus back to me. “How are you doing with all this?”
In the end, isn’t that what matters? The divisive nature of modern parenting often leaves us confused and on edge. Why can’t we simply embrace our multifaceted roles as mothers?
Let’s celebrate the fact that we can make decisions that are right for us and our babies—whether that’s baby-wearing, scheduled feeding, or anything in between. We’re all navigating this journey, and it’s okay to be both.
For more insights on parenting, check out this article on Cervical Insemination. And for those considering at-home insemination options, check out reputable retailers like Make a Mom for quality kits. For a wealth of information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Womens Health.
In summary, embracing the complexities of motherhood means recognizing that we can be both the scheduled and on-demand parent. Let’s create a supportive community where we can thrive together.
Leave a Reply