Why It’s Harder to Send a Daughter to College than a Son

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As I prepare to watch my daughter, Emma, graduate high school this June, I can’t help but think about how bittersweet this moment is. It’s the day that would have marked my father’s 74th birthday, and I know he would have cherished seeing his granddaughter receive her diploma. Emma loved him deeply during the 11 years they shared, and his absence will loom large that day, reminding me that joy and sorrow often coexist.

This mix of emotions becomes even more complicated when a child heads off to college. The joy of watching Emma take flight is overshadowed by the sadness of her leaving childhood behind. I’ve been down this road before with my son, Jake, two years ago, and I know the emotional rollercoaster that awaits.

Graduation day will come with its own set of rituals: the slow procession of seating, the familiar strains of “Pomp and Circumstance,” and the inevitable tears that will flow as I watch my daughter step into this new chapter. The summer will be a whirlwind of preparations—endless shopping for dorm essentials and planning for her loan debt, all while trying to keep our spirits up. Yes, I’ll be buying her the same expensive down jacket from Canada Goose that Jake has, but when it comes to preparing her for the world, there’s no equivalent to that protective gear.

My college experience was marred by several alarming incidents, and while I hesitate to generalize, they weigh heavily on my mind as Emma prepares for her own journey. From an attempted assault in my dorm to being mugged at gunpoint, the reality of campus life for women can be daunting. I hope Emma never has to face such dangers, yet I feel compelled to prepare her for the worst.

There’s an undeniable truth: the freedoms my son enjoys are often an illusion for young women. Emma knows that her safety will always be a concern, and this reality adds a layer of anxiety as she prepares to embark on her college adventure. While I can offer her advice—like being cautious when using ATMs or staying aware of her surroundings—there’s little I can do to shield her from the complexities of human nature.

As I help her shop for bedding or set up her bank account, I can’t help but feel the pit in my stomach grow deeper, not just from the sorrow of saying goodbye, but from the dread of knowing I can’t protect her from the world outside. For more insights on navigating these challenges, check out this article on parenting and college readiness.

Ultimately, I hope Emma spends her college years focusing on her studies and personal growth, rather than living through the fears I carry. But as I get ready to say farewell on that campus green, I know my heart will be heavy with both pride and worry.

In summary, the emotional complexities of sending a daughter to college often outweigh those of sending a son. The joys of new beginnings are tempered by the fears of what lies ahead, especially for young women.

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