In light of the previous administration’s policies, many parents are left to navigate difficult discussions with their children about the state of our nation. The actions taken during that time weren’t just abstract news stories to me; they were deeply personal. As a mother, the daughter of immigrants, and a woman of color, I felt the effects of those policies on a daily basis.
Joining the ACLU
In early 2018, as immigrant communities were under siege, I joined the ACLU as a federal immigration policy counsel. Just weeks into my role, my colleagues initiated legal action against the government for the separation of a mother, Ms. Garcia, from her 7-year-old daughter. The memory of that case haunts me: Ms. Garcia was powerless as immigration officials took her daughter away without explanation. She could hear her child’s terrified cries, pleading to stay with her.
For four agonizing days, Ms. Garcia was left in the dark about her daughter’s whereabouts. That little girl, like countless others affected by the previous administration’s policies, found herself scared and alone in a government facility hundreds of miles from her mother. By the time we filed our lawsuit, they had been apart for four months, allowed only a handful of phone calls, with no video contact whatsoever.
The Broader Impact
As the ACLU broadened the lawsuit to include more families suffering similar fates, we learned of infants separated from their mothers. My work became consumed with the painful realities of family separations while, at home, I struggled to explain it all to my own child, who was just under three years old. My spouse and I, now expecting a second child, took our son to protests, instilling in him the mantra “families belong together,” all the while knowing that children his age were being taken from their parents by our government.
Over the next two years, as family separations persisted, I welcomed a second child into the world. My eldest began to inquire about my job, and I slowly opened up about the ACLU’s mission: “Your family came to this country from India, and almost everyone here has a story of migration. Mommy fights to ensure that immigrants are treated justly, especially Black immigrants, who often face even greater challenges.”
Conversations with My Children
This past year has been tumultuous, marked by a pandemic, protests, and ongoing assaults on people of color and immigrants by our government. As my oldest turned five, he expressed concern about leaders who “kick people out of the country” and joined me in making Black Lives Matter signs. Our youngest, only a year old, happily joined us in solidarity.
Though I am well-versed in immigration policy, I am first and foremost a second-generation immigrant and a mother, which makes these conversations challenging. I find myself balancing the need to educate my children about racism and xenophobia with the desire to instill in them an understanding of their privilege and a sense of responsibility to effect positive change.
The Reality of Family Separation
The trauma of family separation is not merely an abstract concept for my children; it is an everyday reality for millions of undocumented individuals in America. For the approximately 5,500 families torn apart by the previous administration’s policies, the lasting emotional scars are not mere stories to be shelved. It’s not enough to engage in dialogue, although I recognize its importance. I aim to encourage my children to channel their feelings into action, standing up against injustice.
The lasting damage inflicted on children from these separations can be profound, and these actions occurred with taxpayer funds. We must hold our government accountable to make amends. The journey to reunite families is long, but the Biden administration has the power to facilitate this without waiting for new laws from Congress.
Taking Action
Many readers are likely parents considering how they would react if forced to flee their home, only to have their children taken from them in a new country. We have an opportunity to demand justice for the families our nation has harmed, ensuring that such a tragedy never recurs. To kick off the new year, we plan to harness my kindergartner’s newfound writing skills, paired with my toddler’s drawings, to send a heartfelt Valentine’s Day card to President Biden. We will advocate for relief for all separated families, urging their reunification in the U.S. and the provision of citizenship, resources, and care—alongside a commitment that family separation will cease to exist.
I may never know if I’ve conveyed everything correctly to my children about the world’s injustices. However, I hope that when they look back on this time, they will remember how they recognized wrongdoing and learned to take action, using their voices to insist that their country treats all individuals with dignity and compassion.
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Summary
The op-ed discusses the personal experiences of a mother and ACLU immigration policy counsel, reflecting on the trauma caused by family separations during the previous administration. It emphasizes the importance of advocating for the reunification of separated families and the necessity for the Biden administration to take action. The author grapples with explaining these complex issues to her children while fostering a sense of responsibility to combat injustice.