As new parents, we often find ourselves craving a bunch of things: uninterrupted sleep, hot showers, meals enjoyed with both hands, and a laundry situation that doesn’t resemble a Mount Everest of clothes. Did I mention sleep? As a new mom myself, I’ve come to understand that one thing parents—especially moms—really don’t need more of is the same old cliché advice. We’ve all heard it:
“Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Well, if I do that, who will check the likes on my latest social media post about my exhaustion? Priorities, people!
“Sleep train/don’t sleep train right away/never/when they’re older/while they’re young.” It sounds as confusing as attempting to solve calculus after a few drinks. Instead, I’ll just pay attention to my baby’s sleep cues and follow the advice to “sleep when the baby sleeps.”
“Worry about the laundry later; your baby won’t be a baby forever.” Exactly how many pairs of my dirty underwear are you willing to wear?
Despite the best of intentions, advice often serves the giver more than the receiver. So, in this spirit, let’s shift gears. I’m sharing some “permissions” for you, new mama, rather than rigid advice.
1. Cut the Onesie Off.
Picture this: your incredible newborn has had a major diaper blowout. It’s a mess—no, really, it’s everywhere. You might be tempted to pull the onesie over her head or down her shoulders. Either way, it’s a disaster. Give yourself permission to cut the onesie off. Sure, it might have cost you a pretty penny, but consider this a valuable lesson: babies are messy. Just cut it off. And remember, blades toward the feet!
2. Awkwardly Breastfeed in Public.
If you’re not breastfeeding, feel free to skip to the next point. But for those who are, prepare for some awkward moments. It’s okay to feel a bit embarrassed when you’re suddenly exposing your body to strangers. You’ll encounter people who might say things like, “You should cover up.” When this happens, your baby will likely unlatch and stare at the intruder, making the situation even more uncomfortable. But don’t let any fear of awkwardness stop you. You’ve made it through middle school; you can handle this. Embrace it and awkwardly breastfeed in public. It gets easier, and hey, you probably have fewer breakouts now, right?
3. Doubt Means Don’t.
I’m borrowing this mantra from Oprah, and I’m passing it on to you. With a world of information just a click away, it can be overwhelming. You could never absorb every piece of parenting advice out there, and that’s perfectly fine. Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Take a step back from the noise—be it the internet, unsolicited advice from your mother, or those endless message boards. There’s no singular parenting philosophy that fits every child or mother. Seek out a community that uplifts and supports your unique journey. Surround yourself with positive influences, like a good Facebook group or postpartum support circle.
Ultimately, trust yourself, mama. Ignore the unwanted advice—including my own.
For more insightful content, check out this other blog post. If you’re interested in home insemination options, Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit is a reliable choice. And if you want to learn more about the factors affecting infertility, visit this excellent resource from the CDC here.
In summary, give yourself the permissions you need as you navigate motherhood, and don’t let the noise drown out your instincts.
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