Parenting can be a daunting journey. For me, navigating this path with my newly minted teenage son has proven to be particularly challenging. While I tend to take life seriously, my son embodies a playful spirit. He loves to sing, prefers scrolling through YouTube over Hulu, and would choose performing on stage over sitting at a laptop, which is how I prefer to spend my time. Although we both enjoy reading, our tastes in genres differ vastly. In many ways, my son is just your average teen, relishing moments with friends, joking around with his sisters, and laughing at silly YouTube influencers.
I’m thankful that my wife is there to connect with him on a deeper level. She engages in more playful activities with him, understanding his humor far better than I do. Together, they bond over shows like Star Wars and The Mandalorian, while I often feel disconnected. As I approach my forties, I find myself increasingly out of touch with my own inner child.
This has been a lifelong struggle, especially since my son was born fourteen years ago. Playing imaginatively with him on the floor didn’t come easily when he was younger, and I sense that my inner child is in need of some healing. My own childhood was filled with adult responsibilities, leaving little room for imagination or playful exploration. My toys were often played with in solitude, limited to Cabbage Patch dolls and Barbies.
Although my son’s teenage experience is starkly different from mine, he approaches life with a carefree attitude that I still seek. Author Diana Raab offers insightful strategies in an article for Psychology Today to help reconnect with your inner child:
- Stay open-minded.
- Spend time with children.
- Look through old photos to evoke childhood memories.
- Engage in activities you genuinely enjoy.
- Embrace playfulness.
- Laugh often.
- Write a letter to your inner child.
- Participate in creative play.
- Journal about special childhood moments.
- Practice meditation and creative visualization.
Raab emphasizes that reconnecting with your inner child can provide a refreshing break from everyday stressors. By adopting a childlike perspective, you may discover new opportunities around you. In The Genius of Play, child development expert Kathleen Alfano encourages carving out time for play, even if it’s just daydreaming. She suggests that smiling and laughing throughout the day can uplift your spirit, and cultivating a positive attitude fosters gratitude for life’s small joys.
To enhance playfulness with our kids, Alfano recommends observing them as they play, listening to their conversations, and following their imaginative thoughts. For my son, this means tuning into his jokes and embracing the musical performances that unfold while he tackles chores like washing dishes.
While I focus on instilling responsibility in him, I also recognize the importance of balance. I can teach him practical life skills like cooking while sharing in moments of joy, such as watching his favorite musical shows without tuning out. I might spend a few weeks reading Harry Potter or Concrete Rose with him and engaging in meaningful discussions.
Ultimately, I need to step back from my responsibilities and take the time to appreciate his creative expressions. When he breaks into a John Legend cover every Sunday afternoon, I find myself listening closely from outside his door. Perhaps next time, I’ll join him as a backup singer.
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Summary:
Connecting with my teenage son has been a challenge, especially as I recognize my own struggles with embracing my inner child. While my son thrives in a playful environment, I’ve often found it difficult to match his energy. However, by implementing strategies to reconnect with my inner child and engaging in enjoyable activities together, I aim to foster a deeper bond with him.