When my twins were babies, every sound they made filled me with anxiety; noise signaled need, and I was utterly drained from attending to their demands, along with those of their older sibling who was still a toddler. The nighttime hours were especially grueling, as I lay there trying to sleep, knowing I would be awakened every hour or two. The dread of being disturbed was almost as exhausting as the interruptions themselves. It took nearly a year before all three of my children were typically able to sleep through the night, but I can still recall the disorienting feeling of stumbling out of bed to care for them at all hours.
Now, with the pandemic, those feelings have resurfaced, but this time it’s not sleep that’s the issue; it’s the constant noise during their waking hours that’s driving me up the wall. Like many parents, I’ve spent nearly every moment at home with my kids since March. While I appreciate the responsible school district that has managed to support part-time, in-person learning, I can only imagine how overwhelming it must be for parents without that option. It’s not the background noise of life as usual that troubles me — I can tune that out as I did in the days when I could occasionally work from a coffee shop. What truly stresses me are the unpredictable bursts of shouting, crying, squealing, loud music, and more, which I cannot foresee or control.
Learning that my irritation with my children’s incessant noise has a scientific basis was a small comfort. Trevor Cox, an expert in acoustics, explains that our reactions to sound can be learned and that a lack of control amplifies annoyance. “The most annoying sounds are those that interfere with whatever you’re trying to do,” he says. With everyone working from home, a neighbor’s DIY projects may become the most bothersome noise. The unpredictability of these sounds, combined with the chaos of current life, keeps me perpetually on edge. I’ve become increasingly sensitive to the sounds of traffic, airplanes, and even snowplows. Even joyful sounds can be infuriating if they’re too loud or sudden.
It turns out I’m not alone in my frustrations. A casual poll I conducted on social media revealed that many people are especially irritated by various sounds during this pandemic. For example:
- “The sound of my kids laughing while they play should be joyful, but my brain interprets it as a warning: ‘Someone is about to get hurt!’” — Mia, New Jersey.
- “People chewing has always bothered me, but lately, it’s become unbearable.” — Jenna, Ontario.
- “I crave silence because my house is always noisy. I even drive in silence when I’m alone.” — Laura, Pennsylvania.
- “My 9 and 10-year-olds have reverted to toddler-like behavior, and their whining is relentless.” — Emily, New York.
Many of us experience misophonia, a condition that triggers strong reactions to certain sounds, particularly those made by others. Sounds like chewing, slurping, and even brushing teeth can elicit intense responses, as these noises interact with our brain’s emotional centers. With the current emotional state of our lives resembling a dumpster fire, it’s no wonder we find certain sounds infuriating.
My informal polling confirmed that mouth sounds drive many of us to the brink — chewing, slurping, and the sound of styrofoam rubbing together can be intolerable. For instance, Mark from Michigan shared, “The sound of styrofoam touching itself is like nails on a chalkboard for me. I can’t handle it.” Interestingly, the sound of vomiting also triggers a strong response in our brains, as it’s closely linked to our disgust centers — a natural defense mechanism.
The noise pollution in my home has drained my patience and creativity, and I take solace in knowing I’m not alone in feeling this way. While I strive to maintain my composure, it’s clear that our families are struggling too. As Amy from Vermont aptly put it, “Our families can’t eat, breathe, or even sleep without driving us nuts.”
For more insights on parenting during these challenging times, check out this related blog post. And if you’re looking for ways to boost your fertility, consider visiting Make a Mom, an authority on the topic. Additionally, March of Dimes offers excellent resources for those thinking about fertility treatments.
Summary:
Noise from children can be overwhelming, especially during the pandemic when parents are home full-time. The unpredictability of sounds, from joyful laughter to annoying chewing, can trigger strong emotional reactions, making many parents feel on edge. Scientific explanations for these feelings provide some comfort, as they highlight that sound annoyance can be learned and intensified by a lack of control.
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