Have you ever been driving and suddenly found yourself unaware of the last ten minutes of your journey? Or perhaps you’ve sat through a meeting only to realize you completely zoned out? In school, did you ever daydream through a lecture or get lost in the view outside your classroom window? If so, you might have a glimpse into the experience of dissociation — a disconnection from thoughts, memories, moments, or emotions. However, dissociation encompasses more than just this sense of separation. From personal experience, I can attest that it’s far more profound than merely spacing out or zoning out; it’s an all-consuming and overwhelming experience.
Dissociation manifests in mental, emotional, and physical ways. When I dissociate, I feel a tingling sensation in my skin. My limbs can feel paralyzed, and my fingertips often go numb. Everyday sounds become muffled, akin to listening to a radio stuck between stations — there’s a constant buzz, a drone, but I can’t make sense of any words or sounds. It’s as if I “leave” my body, feeling weightless and vacant, as if drifting in an open ocean or beneath a sheet of ice. I become an observer, watching life unfold like a movie, yet devoid of any real emotions. I can see my hands holding a warm coffee cup or my arms embracing my children, but there’s no sensation of warmth or love.
From an outside perspective, my life appears ordinary and “normal.” I walk, talk, work, parent, and engage in daily activities. I smile, laugh, and occasionally deliver “mom jokes.” Yet, there exists a barrier between me and the world, as if I’m behind a two-way mirror or looking through frosted glass. While this state offers a form of safety, shielding me from both people and past experiences, it also means I’m not truly present. Dissociation creates a divide between me and my life.
I’m not alone in this experience. Many individuals encounter dissociation at some point in their lives. Dissociative disorders often have roots in trauma, particularly childhood abuse and neglect, which is true for me. My dissociation stems from a series of traumas that I’m only beginning to comprehend. However, experts like Dr. Jane Morgan, a psychiatrist, note that dissociation can also occur without a traumatic trigger. For some, panic attacks may lead to dissociation, while others may experience dissociative disorders even when dissociation is their sole symptom.
How to Cope with Dissociation
So, how can one cope with dissociation? Grounding techniques can be particularly effective when feeling a dissociative episode approaching or when already dissociating. According to Dr. Morgan, engaging all your senses and anchoring your mind in something tangible can help. For example, you could start at 100 and count backward by threes, hold something cold like an ice cube, or inhale the scent of peppermint oil to help mitigate a dissociative episode. Therapy is also crucial; working with a trustworthy mental health professional can be highly beneficial. For some, medication plays a vital role in managing symptoms, as I personally find relief with an antidepressant and antipsychotic.
It’s important to note that these strategies don’t completely prevent dissociation. I often drift away before I realize it. However, when I notice myself disconnecting from my mind, feelings, and life, I strive to ground myself in the present. I touch solid objects, run my hands against the wall, or feel my son’s hair. I might step into a shower, adjusting the knob to let hot water cascade over my face and shoulders. Strong aromas from lit candles also help anchor me in the moment. While I wish I could do more, knowing that I’m taking steps to reconnect is comforting.
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Summary:
Dissociation is a complex experience that extends beyond simply losing focus; it entails a profound disconnect from one’s thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. While it can stem from trauma, many individuals experience dissociation in various contexts. Coping strategies like grounding techniques and therapy can help manage episodes, even as dissociation remains a challenging aspect of life.
