“Jessica… you tested positive.”
Those words struck me like a bolt from the blue. What?? How could this be happening? And if I was positive, why were the rest of my family members negative? My daughter burst into tears. My son remained quiet. My husband reassured me that it was probably a false positive. I was left in a whirlwind of thoughts.
Could this really be true? It must be real. Earlier that morning, I had felt a headache starting, but I had also sipped my coffee later than normal. The day before, I had been a bit achy, but we had just gotten a new mattress, and I always feel sore after sleeping on one. Oh, and my dog seemed unwell yesterday! Could he have COVID? Do dogs even get COVID? Oh no, my son snuggled with me last night! But he’s negative, at least for now! How in the world did I end up with COVID? Had I been negligent? How could this happen to my family? To me?
I’ve always been a rule follower. When the pandemic began in March 2020, I was ready for lockdown with my family. I assigned the kids to disinfect doorknobs and handles each day. I washed everything I could get my hands on. I ordered everyone their choice of reusable masks. I stocked up on Tylenol, a pulse oximeter, and multiple boxes of Cold-Eze (apparently, the zinc in these helps fight viruses), Gatorade, tissues, and a new thermometer in case any of us fell ill. From March to June, we didn’t leave home, except for masked neighborhood walks. We loosened up a bit over the summer and fall as cases declined in our area, socializing in small outdoor gatherings. My children have been in virtual classes since March, and we’ve celebrated various holidays alone.
Professionally, I’m also a rule enforcer. I manage student life at a university, including Student Health Services. For the past ten months, I’ve been heavily involved in our COVID response, developing compliance policies and overseeing quarantine and isolation for students.
Since I’ve been working remotely, I hadn’t been tested for COVID until now. I only got tested because I was traveling to our home in Massachusetts for a 10-day winter break. My husband and I packed up the car with supplies and our kids and dog, stopping at a drive-through testing site. That’s when I discovered my positive result.
As we turned the car around, masks on and windows down, my daughter crying in the backseat, my husband and I tried to piece together how this could have happened. If I was positive, why wasn’t he? We had spent the last four days together. We contemplated stopping for a PCR test to confirm the rapid test result, fearing it might be a false positive.
I called Tom, the Director of Student Health Services at my school, to share the news and seek advice. Tom and I had been in constant communication since March, tackling this pandemic side by side.
He gasped when I broke the news. Then, shifting into his professional mode, he began asking questions to assess my condition and help trace contacts. Yes, he confirmed, it could be a false positive, but it might not be. Either way, according to the Department of Health, I had COVID.
During our drive home, I texted close friends and family to update them and assure them I felt fine. Once home, I grabbed some snacks and locked myself in the guest room.
I sank onto the bed and cried.
Since March, I’ve been working 14-16 hour days, often on weekends. My job is typically high-stress, but the past ten months have been the most taxing of my career. With two young kids and a new puppy, and my husband out of the house for work, I’ve been managing the household.
I’m completely worn out. This winter break was meant to be my much-needed chance to unwind after nearly a year.
I don’t know if I was crying because I was facing a vacation in isolation, or because my kids were scared, or because I felt like I had spoiled the holiday for everyone. I’m usually an optimistic person, but for the first time in a long while, I felt overwhelmed. I had no control over this situation.
The first night, I found myself obsessively searching online for COVID information, trying to figure out what the next ten days would entail. I opened the pulse oximeter and learned how to use it. I took Cold-Eze hourly and checked my temperature at least nine times that night.
As days went by, I felt incredibly fortunate to remain asymptomatic. Despite the mental struggle of being an extrovert confined to a room, I was one of the lucky ones (so far). Each morning, I woke grateful to be alive and healthy. This situation forced me to pause and appreciate life.
I’ve come to realize that maybe my body and mind needed this break. This past year has been challenging for everyone, and it’s time I took a step back. As I write this, my 10-year-old daughter is in the kitchen baking me s’mores cupcakes. Yeah, I definitely needed this.
Will my house look like it was ransacked when I emerge from the guest room? Absolutely. Will I go on a cleaning spree for the ten days post-isolation? For sure. Will I burst out of this room like Maria on the hilltop in “The Sound of Music”? You bet. Will I appreciate my husband, kids, and puppy even more once this is over? Definitely.
I’m not entirely sure what lesson to take from this. As I mentioned, I’m a rule follower and have adhered to all the guidelines. I can’t comprehend how I ended up in this predicament. I hope everyone reading this is also being cautious but recognizes that no one is invulnerable… yet. This virus can catch you off guard.
When the opportunity arises, I encourage you to get vaccinated. You might not be as fortunate as I’ve been.
Here’s to a brighter 2021, filled with vaccines and a wealth of hugs.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Jessica Taylor shares her surprising experience of testing positive for COVID-19, despite following safety protocols and being a rule follower. As she navigates the emotional turmoil of isolation, she expresses gratitude for her health and the unexpected opportunity to take a break from her demanding life. Jessica emphasizes the importance of vaccination and urges others to remain vigilant against the virus.