Welcome to Home Insemination Kit’s advice column, where our team provides insight on topics related to life, love, body image, and more.
This week’s dilemma: How should you respond when your partner suggests plastic surgery for an area of your body that you feel is just fine?
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
I’m eight months post-delivery with my third child. After two C-sections, we’re done growing our family. Recently, my partner mentioned that I should consider a “mommy makeover” to address my post-C-section belly. I was shocked and offended by this suggestion, as I’ve never expressed a desire for surgery to “improve” myself. He claimed he thought I would want my pre-baby body back and said he’d support my decision. When I asked if he really wanted me to go through with it, he hesitated but admitted he did. This has really affected my self-esteem. I’ve always thought having a bit of a belly is totally normal, but now I feel self-conscious. How can I communicate my feelings to him? How do I regain my body confidence after this hit?
What?
Seriously, what on earth? How does someone think it’s okay to suggest their partner should undergo surgery without any prompt? This is an astonishing lack of awareness. Your partner’s comment is not just misguided; it’s downright hurtful. It’s baffling that he assumed you’d want to talk about altering your body when you’d never brought it up.
You’re absolutely right to think that a little extra belly fat is completely normal and, more importantly, that your body is a testament to the incredible work it has done bringing three children into the world. You’ve had two surgical births—your body is nothing short of amazing!
If you had wanted to explore surgical options, that would be a different story. But this suggestion was his, and it’s clear he doesn’t understand what it’s like to live in a post-baby body.
I’m frustrated for you that this has affected your self-image. Maybe a part of you wants to list out all the things he could change about himself for your aesthetic pleasure, but the more mature response would be to tell him how deeply his suggestion impacted you. Be clear that his comment was insensitive and that you felt confident in your body before he made you doubt yourself. If he’s struggling with your body changes, that’s an issue he needs to address.
Own your body and wear that belly with pride. Let him sit with the weight of his words for a while. He may be a good guy, but he messed up, and it’s time for him to recognize that.
For more insights on this topic, check out this blog post that dives deeper into body acceptance. And if you’re looking for more ways to boost your body positivity, consider visiting Make A Mom for some helpful tips. Additionally, Wikipedia serves as a great resource for understanding pregnancy and home insemination.
Search Queries:
- How to respond to partner’s suggestion of plastic surgery?
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- Is it normal to feel insecure after childbirth?
- Body confidence tips for new mothers.
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Summary:
The author grapples with feelings of insecurity after their partner suggests plastic surgery to address body changes post-pregnancy. They seek advice on how to communicate their hurt while affirming their body’s natural changes after childbirth. The response emphasizes self-acceptance and encourages the author to confront their partner’s insensitivity.