I’m Saying Goodbye to Robot Mom Mode

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Updated: July 27, 2016
Originally Published: Oct. 29, 2015

As school is back in session, my routine of chauffeuring kids around has resumed, and that 3 p.m. shift is in full swing. One child hops in, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she recounts a tale about a raccoon named Chester causing chaos at her preschool, distributing candy and creating mayhem. I suspect Chester might just be a figment of her imagination, but I nod along, my eyes glued to the road while mentally ticking off my never-ending to-do list. I feel like a Robot Mom, simply going through the motions as I drive to the next destination.

It takes me a moment to process her question, “Isn’t that so funny, Mommy?” I respond with a half-hearted chuckle. “Oh? Yes, it’s so funny!” Yet, Robot Mom is clueless about what she just agreed to.

As I navigate familiar streets—past the village grocery store, a playground, and homes I barely notice—I pick up my middle schooler. He slinks into the car, adopting that typical teenage slouch. The conversation now shifts, with me firing off questions that receive nothing but grunts and nods in return. “Did you hand in your notecards?” I ask, greeted with a nod. “Who did you sit with at lunch?” “The usual,” he replies tersely. My sigh of frustration fills the air as I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, turn up the music, and settle back into my Robot Mom persona.

A squabble erupts in the backseat between my preschooler and middle-schooler over the volume of the car radio. “I’ve heard this song a million times!” he complains. I zone out, pondering whether I actually voiced my lackluster attempt at mediation, “Oh, just stop it, you two.” As expected, it falls flat; the preschooler continues singing, while the middle-schooler rolls his eyes.

Next, I head to the third school to collect my youngest. She doesn’t hop or slither; instead, she bounces into the car, buckling her seatbelt with enthusiasm. “Hi, guys! Did you know sharks have rows of teeth? Some eat flankton or is it plankton?” I see my middle schooler glance at her, “It’s plankton,” he corrects.

“Oh, good. Plankton! And guess what? A shark has 100 babies and it makes poo!” she giggles, and suddenly, the atmosphere changes. The car fills with laughter as they all join in, and I realize Robot Mom has taken a back seat.

In the chaos of our daily routines, it’s so easy to slip into Robot Mom mode. As my kids grow older, they require less physical support than when they were toddlers. Yes, I cherish the chance to breathe deeply and think my own thoughts, but when my children are right there, excited and engaging with each other, I need to be present.

Motherhood is anything but autopilot; I’ve fought for these kids since before they entered this world. From the early days in the NICU to late-night fevers and potty training, I’ve been there every step of the way. Even our simple trips to the car wash have been adventures.

While I sometimes feel like just their driver or cook, I am their mother, and what they need most is for me to be fully engaged. They should feel my presence and love, intertwined in both the mundane and magical moments we share. Each second is fleeting, a treasure to be cherished.

Someday, my backseat will be quiet, and I’ll miss the lively chatter. I’ll be able to crank up my music and daydream all I want, but for now, that backseat is vibrant, chaotic, and beautiful. It’s just as sacred as the rocking chair where I nursed them or the floor where I taught them to walk. The car has become our shared space, an opportunity for me to model how to connect with others.

I know Robot Mom will rear her head again, especially on those exhausting days when I just need a mental break. But I hope that when that happens, I catch myself and send Robot Mom away, so I don’t miss another interesting second-grade fact about sharks. If you’re interested in learning more about the journey of home insemination, check out this insightful post on this blog. For those exploring at-home solutions, Cryobaby offers reliable insemination kits. Additionally, if you’re seeking comprehensive information on the topic, Wikipedia provides a great resource.

In summary, while it’s easy to slip into the routine of being a detached Robot Mom, it’s crucial to engage with our children and cherish the moments we have together. Each day brings new opportunities for connection, laughter, and learning.


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