For as long as I can remember, I’ve held a deep desire to see the best in others. I’ve gone out of my way to comprehend the motives behind the hurtful actions of those around me, constantly searching for justifications and explanations—anything but the notion that people could simply be cruel.
I’ve always believed that the majority of people are fundamentally good. That when faced with the opportunity, most would come together to uplift one another. However, everything shifted in 2020.
This past year has felt like a culmination of disillusionment, witnessing individuals I once respected engage in behavior I never thought possible. It wasn’t just about supporting a leader who has repeatedly shown his true colors as a terrible person; it was about actively endorsing him. It wasn’t merely ignoring the escalating racial tensions in our country, nor the horrific events fueling them, but outright denying the very existence of racism.
People made reckless personal choices amid a global pandemic, often prioritizing their own comfort over the safety of others. They opposed mask mandates and insisted on continuing youth sports, disregarding the broader implications for community health. It was astonishing to see how some turned a blind eye to their privilege, vilifying anyone who dared to disagree with them.
I’ve often tried to rationalize the actions of those who voted for him out of long-standing political beliefs or specific issues they feel passionate about. While I may not agree, I can understand that perspective. What I struggle to comprehend is the pride some people take in his behavior—pride enough to display his flags and plaster his signs all over their homes.
Seventy-four million people cast their votes for someone whose actions I would find appalling in a role model for my child, and that reality is incomprehensible to me.
Throughout this year, I’ve watched as both sides of the political spectrum devolved into name-calling and conspiracy theories. It’s been gut-wrenching to see people I care about turn their backs on data and science, prioritizing their own convenience while others suffer. I’ve grappled with the integrity of those I once admired more times than I can count, and it deeply saddens me. As someone who has always chosen to see the good in others, it’s heartbreaking to witness this side of humanity.
I recently wrote about a controversial figure and the harm he has perpetuated through misinformation disguised as entertainment. The backlash was swift and disturbing, with my inbox flooded by misogynistic and abusive messages from those seemingly eager to defend him. Among these messages were three unsolicited explicit images—an attack I was utterly unprepared for.
The more I observe, the more I am horrified by the state of our society. It’s easy to label me as naive, especially considering that marginalized communities have endured these harsh realities for far longer. Yet, I genuinely believed most individuals were better than this, and it pains me to confront how wrong I was.
As the year unfolded, I initially hoped that the challenges we faced might unite us. I thought that in the face of tragedy, we would come together, make sacrifices, and support one another. Instead, I’ve seen restaurant owners protest safety mandates while accepting substantial relief funds. I’ve seen people insist on indoor dining, disregarding clear evidence of its dangers, ignoring the pleas of servers who wish to remain safe.
In my local community, we’ve seen a mayor embroiled in scandal, costing taxpayers a fortune by resigning prematurely. People have threatened respected epidemiologists, placing their desires above the needs of others. The hostility has reached new lows, with individuals attacking others over trivial disagreements.
Yet, in the midst of this disillusionment, I find solace in my close circle of friends—those who share my values and commitment to doing what’s right. However, looking beyond that circle reveals a growing number of individuals who seem indifferent to morality and ethics, willing to act poorly simply because they can.
This leads me to question everything I once believed about human nature. Perhaps most people are not inherently good. Perhaps they are selfish, weak, easily manipulated, and cruel. Coming to terms with this possibility might be one of the most painful realizations I’ve faced this year.
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Summary:
The author reflects on their lifelong belief in the goodness of people, which was shattered by the events of 2020. They express disillusionment with individuals they once respected, observing troubling behaviors and a growing divide in society. The piece discusses the pain of witnessing a lack of empathy and morality, questioning the nature of humanity itself.