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Parenting
I Am More Than Just a Housewife
by Anonymous
Updated: November 8, 2021
Originally Published: January 15, 2015
One morning, I found myself violently breaking an old, plastic toy that had long been forgotten. I slammed it down repeatedly, unleashing my frustration. Pieces flew everywhere, and in my frenzy, I accidentally cut my finger. What lay scattered on the floor was a chaotic display of my anger, alongside a fleeting moment of dignity. Afterward, I resumed my cleaning routine, having realized it had been a while since my maternal frustrations had surfaced. It seemed a meltdown was overdue, and while I felt a release, I also felt a twinge of guilt for my childish outburst.
The source of my rage stemmed from the previous evening. My husband had wanted to shower and was searching for a clean towel, but our laundry hamper was overflowing with dirty ones. All that remained in the linen closet were beach towels.
I was sitting on the couch, engrossed in my writing. In my mind, I am a writer, but in reality, my lack of income labels me a housewife with a hobby. I used to be a teacher, then a stay-at-home mom, and now that the kids are in school, I find myself in the role of a housewife who enjoys writing.
As a housewife, the towel situation falls under my responsibilities. My husband’s need for a clean towel is, unfortunately, a reflection of my ability to meet the expectations of my role.
Let me be clear: while I am a housewife, it doesn’t mean I strive for domestic perfection. Yes, the kids are in school, but I refuse to spend my days organizing storage or folding laundry perfectly. My goal is to find a balance, somewhere between chaos and order, peppered with moments of success and occasional failures. Because honestly, I have other interests to pursue.
I enjoy writing, engaging with my readers and fellow writers online, and indulging in my blog.
Returning to the root of my frustration… My husband, towel in hand, interrupted my writing with questions that I interpreted through a “wifely lens”:
- “How many towels do we have?” Translation: You’ve been home all day; how hard is it to put some clean towels in the cupboard?
- “Why are there no clean towels?” Translation: You should be washing towels instead of typing away on your laptop.
Does my husband deserve a clean towel? Absolutely. Should I have to explain the lack of one? Apparently, yes, and I’ll do it with some irritation and expletives. My nature resists being questioned about unfinished domestic duties, even if our roles are traditional.
Yes, the towel situation is behind. But seriously, could you use a beach towel?
So, we argued and went to bed upset. The next morning, after dropping the kids at school, I returned home to engage in a cleaning frenzy fueled by my anger. I was upset that I felt like the only one responsible for the mess, and it frustrated me that my husband was correct; I hadn’t been upholding my end of the agreement.
This dynamic sometimes makes me feel powerless. No matter how determined I am or how strongly I believe in equality, my lack of financial independence places me in a subordinate position.
Sure, my husband shares the “power” with me, often using inclusive language. Most of the time, this arrangement works well. With his frequent travel and high-pressure job, I am the constant presence in our children’s lives, managing their schedules and activities. But it can be overwhelming to feel like I am the sole keeper of cleanliness in our home.
Hence, I took out my frustration on a plastic toy and then cleaned up the wreckage. It was an embarrassing display of first-world problems, but it cleared my mind.
I recognize that fulfillment won’t come from an empty laundry basket. Instead, I find it when I type. Writing nourishes my soul, and I intend to prioritize it. I may not write award-winning pieces about my husband’s quirks, but I am part of a significant community of mothers.
If only writing could be more lucrative! Perhaps I should focus on crafting a masterpiece. Imagine telling my husband, “I’m busy with work, so we need to split the cleaning duties.” That sounds appealing.
So, I need to dive into that masterpiece. But first, I’ve got some towels to fold.
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Summary
The piece reflects the struggles of a housewife balancing domestic responsibilities and personal aspirations. It illustrates the frustration that can arise from traditional roles and the desire for fulfillment beyond household duties. Ultimately, the author emphasizes the importance of writing as a source of identity and connection to a broader community of mothers.