Every woman knows that dealing with Aunt Flo is a unique challenge. Whether it’s the unexpected scheduling conflicts, those cringe-worthy stains that appear just when you’ve run out of bleach, or your uncharacteristic irritation towards your barista, navigating your menstrual cycle can be quite the adventure. It’s likely that during your last visit from your monthly guest, you experienced at least one of these thoughts:
- “Where did the string go?”
The panic of losing a tampon is real. There’s nothing quite like the frantic search for that string, akin to a skydiver desperately trying to find her ripcord before a free fall. - “Is that a new color?”
Many of us are familiar with the various shades of our menstrual flow, but sometimes our body surprises us with a color we’ve never encountered before. Why can’t it just stick to the classics? - “How did that end up there?”
Periods defy logic. It’s baffling how spots can appear in the most random places—your pockets, your bra, or even the bottom of your purse. The science behind it remains a mystery. - “Am I dying?”
On those particularly intense days, it can feel like a volcanic eruption is happening inside you. In these moments, you might find yourself indulging in ice cream as if it’s your last meal. - “Maybe pregnancy wouldn’t be so bad.”
This thought often arises during moments of discomfort, when carbs, a heating pad, and a heartwarming movie about a lovable dog seem like the only remedies. - “Time to get creative with my maxi pad.”
When your period shows up unexpectedly and you’re low on supplies, you might find yourself attempting to fashion an origami-style pad out of toilet paper. Unfortunately, toilet paper is not designed for such purposes, especially on day one. - “Thank goodness for these ancient undies.”
Those old, tattered underwear that should have been retired long ago somehow become your best friend during your period. They might look like they’ve survived a war, but they’re still ready to serve one last time. - “Did I flush?”
No matter who you share a bathroom with—be it a friend, family member, or a curious child—the fear of leaving behind evidence of your period can be nerve-wracking. You can’t help but wonder if you remembered to send everything down the drain. - “I’m never forgetting a tampon again!”
This thought often comes after you’ve had to ask strangers for a spare tampon, only to receive one that looks like it’s been at the bottom of a purse since the ‘90s. It’s a humbling experience that makes you vow to be better prepared next time. - “Is it finally over?”
This is the classic miscalculation every woman makes. Just when you think your period is done, it surprises you. Many a pair of precious undies has been sacrificed due to this oversight.
If you want to learn more about managing your menstrual health, check out this insightful post on intracervicalinsemination.org. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reliable syringe kits for your needs. For additional guidance on pregnancy, the CDC is an excellent resource.
Summary:
Women experience a myriad of relatable thoughts during their periods, from the panic of a lost tampon string to the absurdity of using old underwear. These moments are often accompanied by humor, frustration, and the inevitable vow to be better prepared for next time.
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