Every so often, I stumble upon posts on social media where a parent expresses their exasperation over their family’s lack of contribution to household chores. They talk about “rage cleaning,” claiming they’ve finally lost their patience and decided to tackle the mess themselves. Usually, it’s a mom fed up with the state of her teenager’s room or bathroom, exclaiming, “When will this kid ever learn?” I can only imagine the strain in her voice and the wild look in her eyes.
If I were to answer that question honestly, I’d say, “never.” As long as she continues to clean up after them, her kids will never learn responsibility. People tend to stick with the status quo, especially when it benefits them, and kids are no exception.
Sometimes, rage cleaning is just an outlet for pent-up frustration, but rage cleaning because your family isn’t pitching in is a different story altogether. Fellow parents, don’t put yourself through this. Don’t act like you’re out of choices. Assign chores to your kids; even the little ones can handle age-appropriate tasks. No single person should bear the burden of cleaning an entire house when there are other capable individuals sharing the space.
I’ve heard parents excuse their messy teenagers by saying they’re “too busy” or “stressed.” While it’s true that kids today are often overwhelmed, they still need to contribute. Chores aren’t merely “helping out”; they’re essential life skills, just like brushing your teeth or tying your shoes. In times of uncertainty, like during a pandemic, kids require structure and routine, and chores provide just that.
I’ve experienced my own moments of rage cleaning, usually in response to my overflowing closet or the stack of Amazon boxes I’ve kept “for Christmas,” despite knowing I only need a few. However, I don’t touch my kids’ messes; I refuse to rage-clean someone else’s clutter.
When my children were younger, we had a chore chart on the fridge. Screen time was contingent on completing chores. Now that they’re older, they know the routine, and if they forget, I remind them from across the house. Sure, there’s some resistance now and then, but they dislike the “you live here, you help” lecture and the threat of losing screen time, so they usually comply.
Chores are non-negotiable. If you live in a house, you help maintain it, period. It’s just me and my kids in this space, and even though it’s small (which makes cleaning easier), that doesn’t give them a free pass. At 14 and 10, I expect them to clean effectively too. I “inspect” their work, asking them to redo spots they missed. I refuse to let my son grow up not knowing the proper way to stack pots and pans or have a future partner question where he learned his habits.
Though I may seem strict, I allow for some leniency if the job is done well overall. I want my kids to understand how to maintain a household before they reach adulthood. I won’t allow my frustration to build up to the point where I feel the need to rage clean.
Does this mean my house is spotless? Absolutely not. Like any family, we have our share of clutter, dust, and laundry baskets that sit unaddressed for days. But it does mean my home is generally tidy, and I’m not pushed to the brink of rage cleaning. I don’t want to see fellow parents feeling burdened by housework or taken advantage of by their families.
If your family’s mess is driving you mad, it’s time to motivate them to pitch in! Create a task list if necessary to make it less daunting for your novice helpers. Changing the Wi-Fi password can be a powerful incentive. No one should ever feel compelled to rage clean due to family members not pulling their weight. Let’s shift from rage cleaning to delegating — it’s a start, right?
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Summary:
This article discusses the frustrations parents face regarding household chores and the phenomenon of “rage cleaning.” It emphasizes the importance of assigning chores to children to help them learn responsibility and life skills. The author shares personal experiences and outlines strategies to encourage family involvement in maintaining a clean home, advocating for a shift from frustration to delegation.