I often watch children laughing and playing together at the playground, weaving stories and sharing joyful moments while their parents chat about milestones and plan future coffee dates. But my reality is different.
I find myself sitting alone, sipping my coffee in solitude, preoccupied with thoughts of my son’s next therapy session, tracking his health progress, and preparing for upcoming blood tests. The list of responsibilities feels endless.
I’m the mom who hesitates to engage with other parents, convinced they wouldn’t understand my experiences or, worse, that they wouldn’t care. Every mother faces her own unique challenges, whether it’s getting their kids to tidy up or managing everyday behavioral issues.
I understand that parenting is hard. The challenges of typical parents and those of special needs parents can feel worlds apart. I’m constantly trying to uncover the triggers behind my son’s meltdowns, diligently recording behaviors in hopes of finding answers. I’m the mother who must keep my son from running into the street because he lacks an awareness of danger. I juggle therapy sessions and medical appointments with a sense of urgency and responsibility.
I’m the mother who advocates tirelessly for my son’s needs, often losing sleep over concerns for his future. I worry about what will happen to him if I’m no longer around. Will he be cared for? Will I ever hear him say “mama” again? I’m always striving for acceptance in a world that can be judgmental and harsh.
I wish life were easier for my son, and I long for kindness from others. I mourn the loss of friendships and desire more understanding from family. There are nights when I cry, feeling the weight of it all.
Yet, amidst these challenges, I cherish the gift of being a mother to my incredible son. He embraces life with enthusiasm, dances freely, and laughs wholeheartedly. His hugs warm my heart, and I adore him for who he is.
Autism is merely a part of my son’s story, not the entirety. He is a sweet, humorous, and loving child who enjoys music, dancing, and outdoor play. I love him for all that he is.
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In summary, while autism adds complexity to my parenting journey, it does not define my son. His unique personality shines through, reminding me every day of the joy that comes with being his mother.