Think HIV is terrifying? We used to, but today we’re stepping up and #FacingAIDS for World AIDS Day!
When my partner and I first started dating, we had many discussions about foster care and adoption. As we explored the types of special needs we were willing to embrace, we both agreed on one thing: the thought of parenting a child with HIV made us uneasy. Our understanding of HIV was clouded by misconceptions rather than facts. After welcoming our first two children, we were even more convinced that adopting a child with HIV would put our family at risk. But now, as the proud parent of six—one of whom is living with HIV—we’ve joined the movement of #FacingAIDS and are here to show that HIV is not just a relic from the past.
So, what changed?
Ignorance may sound like an insult, but it simply refers to a lack of knowledge. It becomes problematic only when we choose to remain uninformed despite the availability of accurate information. I hold a master’s degree in special education, so I’m well-versed in various special needs. Yet, my education on HIV came from a middle school health class in the ’90s, which left me quite naive.
My perspective shifted when I reconnected with an old friend, Sarah, who contracted HIV from her partner. She was younger than me and single, and I imagined her life would be devastating. Fast forward to today: she is thriving with proper medical care, has found love, and they can even have healthy kids if they decide to. Witnessing her journey illuminated just how much I didn’t know.
As my partner and I sought out information from trusted doctors and resources, we learned the truth about HIV. This newfound understanding led us to say yes to adopting three siblings, including one with HIV, just last year.
I wish I could say everyone in our lives opted for knowledge over ignorance, but that hasn’t been the case. While I still mourn some of those relationships, I recognize I can’t change how others choose to respond. And that can be tough.
Recently, I broke my own rule about reading comments on a post about HIV on a parenting blog and on Facebook. The responses stung. Many didn’t take the time to read the article or watch the show before expressing strong negative opinions about HIV. They suggested that children like mine shouldn’t be allowed in schools, playgrounds, or sports. However, extensive research has shown that HIV transmission has never occurred in those environments, nor in our home.
Both the blog and the TV episode emphasized that modern treatments can suppress HIV viral loads to undetectable levels. Sure, as a parent, I’m overjoyed by these medical advancements. But it’s important to clarify that other kids aren’t at risk because my child receives treatment; HIV isn’t transmitted in everyday activities. The treatment simply keeps my child healthy and prevents the progression to AIDS. For individuals with HIV who are sexually active, maintaining an undetectable viral load can also prevent transmission to partners, but understanding and communication are key.
In places like schools or playgrounds, there’s no medical need to disclose my child’s HIV status. While some families, including ours, choose to share this information to foster education, we are under no obligation to do so. HIV is transmitted through bodily fluids, and kids are not exposed to these fluids in typical childhood interactions. Plus, there has never been a documented case of HIV transmission through common childhood accidents. Never!
Despite my efforts to educate others, I know that fear can hurt my child down the line. When people choose fear over facts, they miss out on a remarkable kid who adds so much joy to the world. The only one in this story without a choice is my child, who came into this world with a virus without asking for this diagnosis or its stigma. I could choose ignorance, and you can too, but my child never had that luxury.
If you began reading this with skepticism like I did, that’s perfectly okay. It’s not ignorance to seek more information rather than just accepting one parent’s experience. Explore resources like this excellent guide on infertility and pregnancy at Mount Sinai, or check out Make a Mom for further insight on home insemination.
And if you want to dig into our terms and conditions, you can find them here.
Ultimately, I hope you’ll join us in breaking down the stigma surrounding HIV and working toward a future free from AIDS.
Summary
This blog post narrates a personal journey of overcoming fear and misconceptions about HIV, highlighting the importance of education over ignorance. The writer discusses their family’s adoption journey, the societal stigma attached to HIV, and the medical advancements that allow individuals with HIV to lead healthy lives. The post encourages readers to seek information, embrace understanding, and join the movement against HIV stigma.