It’s Wednesday evening, and I’m gearing up for dinner with a friend, free from the need to arrange a babysitter or navigate a sea of toys. It’s a refreshing change not to be juggling a 4-year-old who’s throwing a tantrum over the color of her dinner plate. When my friend asks if I feel guilty about enjoying my time away from my daughter, my response is a firm no.
This is my reality now. I can prepare for an outing with minimal fuss, return home whenever I choose, and even make spontaneous trips to places like L.A.—the perks of being a weekend mom, at least in my case. I had never encountered the term “weekend mom” until I found myself living it. It refers to mothers who share custody rather than having full-time parenting responsibility. After my ex-husband and I decided our daughter would live with him and spend weekends with me, I faced a barrage of backlash.
“But you were such a devoted mom. What changed?”
“It’s sad you can’t handle being a parent.”
“Did drugs play a role?”
“Not everyone is cut out to be a mom.”
“I wish I could be that selfish. I love my kids too much!”
To those who think such comments are acceptable, let me just say this: it’s infuriating. However, I forgive you because it’s not entirely your fault. Society imposes unrealistic expectations on mothers, creating a stigma around choices like mine.
The truth is, allowing my daughter to reside with her dad was one of the most challenging yet beneficial decisions I could have made for her. We made this choice for various reasons, from providing our daughter with better educational opportunities and the chance to engage in sports, to ensuring she could grow up with her sister and have two parents in her life. On a personal level, I sought the freedom to transition from a corporate job to self-employment, giving me the financial flexibility to focus on self-improvement.
I can only imagine the judgment people harbor when they hear about my parenting choices. There’s a prevailing notion that being a weekend mom translates to being less caring, less present, or less loving. In fact, not seeing my daughter daily allows me to be a better parent during our visits. Instead of being just one of her caregivers, I can fully dedicate my time and energy to her when we’re together.
Making this choice was not taken lightly—it’s one of the hardest things a parent can face. Yes, I miss her deeply, and I don’t get to see my mom friends as often as I used to. But amidst the occasional heartache, there’s immense joy in knowing she is happy and that I have some space to breathe—something I didn’t have during the four years (plus pregnancy) of full-time parenting.
The social stigma surrounding weekend moms does nothing but reinforce the stereotype that part-time mothers are inadequate and that fathers only assume primary roles when mothers fail. To combat this stigma, we must address it openly.
I don’t feel guilty for savoring my time away from my daughter. I think of her every day, and while I don’t regret my choice, I often worry about her well-being. I know I’m a good mom who loves her dearly, just as you are a good mom who loves your child. It’s easy to say you could never make the same choice until you find yourself in that situation. So, while I acknowledge the judgments, I also extend forgiveness.
If you’re interested in learning more about the experiences of weekend moms, check out this insightful post on intracervicalinsemination.org. And if you’re considering family planning options, I recommend visiting Make a Mom for reliable at-home insemination syringe kits. Additionally, for those seeking further guidance on insemination techniques, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent resources.
In summary, being a weekend mom comes with its own challenges and joys. It’s a choice that shouldn’t be judged but understood and embraced.
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