When we’re little, we can’t wait to grow up. At age 3, being 5 sounds glorious—school, playground royalty! By 5, the allure of being 10 beckons, with homework and sleepovers. At 10, we yearn for the teenage years, filled with independence and freedom. Once in our teens, it’s the driver’s license, college dreams, and escaping home that drive us forward. In college, we aspire to be the breadwinner and decision-maker, eagerly anticipating the day we can take charge of our lives.
Then comes adulthood—the supposed pinnacle of existence. It’s the moment when we believe we’ll master all aspects of life. We envision ourselves as confident, well-dressed individuals with all the answers, effortlessly navigating the complexities of the world.
If you’re one of those individuals who can confidently declare, “I’ve nailed adulthood,” then this might not resonate with you. For the rest of us, the reality of “growing up” is often a far cry from the dreamy expectations we held as children.
Upon reaching adulthood, I found myself engulfed in nostalgia, yearning for the simplicity of being 3, donning pigtails and pajamas in public. Or perhaps I longed for the carefree days of 5, racing around on my Big Wheel. Ten seemed like a golden age, a time before the burdens of relationships, responsibilities, and taxes entered the picture. College was a blissful time, filled with the luxury of managing my own schedule and pursuing knowledge. Then there were those single years when I relished cold pizza for breakfast and breakfast for dinner without a second thought.
I grew up under the impression that adulthood would grant me all the answers and the confidence to make decisions. Yet, at 46, I still find myself grappling with uncertainties. I’m not as tall as my parents, and my confidence doesn’t compare to my mom’s unwavering resolve or my dad’s wisdom. While I might technically be an adult, I still grapple with more questions than answers. I often second-guess my decisions, consult friends or family before acting, and still rely on my mother for wardrobe advice. My husband and I frequently find ourselves overwhelmed when planning family vacations, often deciding at the last minute to embark on spontaneous road trips—that’s how we ended up driving 1,200 miles to Florida in a single day more than once.
This makes me wonder: would we even enjoy those picture-perfect vacations where everyone matches perfectly and every minute is meticulously planned? After weighing the effort it takes to achieve that ideal, I suspect we’d end up disappointed.
In those spontaneous moments, we create memories for our kids that redefine what adulthood means. We’re teaching them that life is about adventure, joy, and spontaneity—qualities that have nothing to do with age but everything to do with feelings. Adulthood? It’s not what we thought.
So, if you’re staring into the mirror and not seeing a superhuman version of yourself, don’t lose hope. Perhaps it’s time to reshape your vision of adulthood. As for me, after longing to be grown-up for so long, I’ve realized that my assumptions were misguided. Now, I embrace the freedom to be the adult I want to be: I can dye my hair blue, wear ripped jeans, and serve breakfast for dinner. I’m still the loving partner and mother, and I find joy in family cuddle puddles on the couch every evening. I can even ride a Big Wheel if I wish. Adulthood aside, I’ve discovered that this is the life I truly desire.
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Summary
Growing up often doesn’t align with childhood expectations. The reality of adulthood can be filled with uncertainty and nostalgia for simpler times. Embracing spontaneity and redefining what it means to be an adult can lead to a fulfilling life that prioritizes joy and love over rigid expectations.
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