As I recently swiped my card at a jukebox, I thought to myself, “This will be a fun choice.” Little did I know, I’d soon be regretting my decision after spending a small fortune on a questionable ’90s track—only for the bartender to cut it off after just a few seconds. “How about ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’?” I suggested. His response? It doesn’t fit the bar vibe. And just like that, my cash vanished into thin air.
In today’s world, jukeboxes, especially those touch-screen monstrosities, have become absurdly pricey. You might think you’re just throwing in a buck, but before you know it, your bank account is in the red. Thus, it becomes essential to choose your jukebox selections wisely. Here’s how:
The Crowd Favorites
These tracks are like the golden retrievers of the jukebox—beloved by all and sure to get everyone singing along.
Top Picks: “Sweet Home Alabama,” “Sweet Caroline,” “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” and other sugary tunes. Classics like “Brown Eyed Girl,” “Old Time Rock and Roll,” “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It),” and “Respect” never disappoint.
Your Personal Favorites
These songs may not earn you any popularity points, and they might even annoy some listeners. But who cares? You’ll be belting them out like you’re on stage with a magical beer microphone, so it’s a win for you!
Top Picks: “P.Y.T.,” anything from Beck’s eclectic catalog, “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back),” and Sonic Youth’s heavier distortion tracks. Bobby Brown’s hits are also a solid choice.
The Guilty Pleasure Hits
Here’s where you can let your true music taste shine.
Top Picks: “November Rain,” and “Return of the Mack.” And let’s not forget New Radicals—“You Get What You Give” is an undeniable pop classic.
The Extended Tracks
Want to get the most bang for your buck? Opt for longer songs.
Top Picks: “Purple Rain” at 8:42, “Gypsy Woman” by Tim Buckley, a whopping 12:19, or Brian Eno’s “Thursday Afternoon,” which spans an impressive 61 minutes. You can always rely on Meat Loaf for lengthy tunes that will have you singing for ages.
The Trendy Tunes
To impress the crowd, pick songs that are either retro or cutting-edge.
Top Picks: For modern tracks, choose something by a band with a quirky spelling, like Chvrches or Haerts. For classics, channel your inner indie film character and go for something a little obscure—perhaps a lesser-known Nick Drake track?
The Umlaut Effect
Here’s a fun theory: adding an umlaut makes everything better, including band names.
Top Picks: “Could You Be the One?” by Hüsker Dü, or tracks by Mötley Crüe, Björk, and Motörhead. And if you’re game for some crowd-pleasing hollering about cowbell, throw on “(Don’t Fear) the Reaper” by Blue Öyster Cult. Just steer clear of Queensrÿche—I’m convinced they’re banned from bars.
This article was originally published on June 26, 2015. If you’re looking for other engaging content, check out this piece on navigating the complexities of parenthood.
In summary, selecting the right jukebox song requires a balance of crowd-pleasers, personal favorites, and a mix of guilty pleasures. Whether you’re in the mood for classics or trying to impress with the latest hits, being strategic can help you make the most of your jukebox experience. And speaking of strategy, if you’re on a fertility journey, consider checking out this reputable online retailer for at-home insemination kits. For further information, this is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
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