As long as I can remember, anxiety has been a constant presence in my life. It fluctuates like the tides, but from the moment I understood my emotions, I realized that my worrying was excessive.
During my childhood, I often dismissed my anxiety as mere excitement or nervousness in the face of new experiences. I was so preoccupied with discovering the world around me that the stress felt almost normal. However, as I transitioned into adulthood, the weight of responsibility intensified my anxiety. I found myself spiraling over trivial things, like an odd glance from a neighbor or a comment from a relative about my outfit.
My mind tends to process emotions in rapid succession. I rarely focus on just one thought; each leads to a cascade of worries, mostly revolving around self-blame and feelings of inadequacy. I’ve become quite adept at this over the years.
Today, I am married to a wonderful partner, and we have two beautiful children who fill my life with love and joy. Yet, despite the happiness that marriage and motherhood bring, my anxiety persists—and, at times, it even amplifies my worries. The truth is, being anxious doesn’t equate to being unhappy. I can experience fulfillment while simultaneously feeling overwhelmed. In fact, the more positivity there is in my life, the more my anxieties often surface.
Fortunately, I have an excellent therapist who provides invaluable support. I engage in running, meditation, and maintain a reasonably healthy diet. I enjoy the occasional glass of wine and strive to get to bed early. I’ve explored various supplements and CBD products and have gone through countless self-care routines and suggestions.
However, we currently live in a world that is hard to comprehend. A global pandemic has altered our lives, taking lives and dictating our daily routines. Our nation is divided in ways that seem insurmountable, and it’s disheartening to see many people passionately oppose views I hold dear.
I have deep concerns for my children’s future, worrying about how to create a safer, more equitable world for them.
Today, I made a significant call—one that I had contemplated for a long time. After weighing the pros and cons and reflecting on whether it was the right choice for me, I reached out to my doctor to discuss medication for my anxiety.
I can no longer live this way. I need to be more present for my family and, most importantly, for myself. I’ve decided that I deserve to break free from the anxiety that has plagued me since childhood.
Some may disapprove of my decision, but I’ve experienced this emotional turmoil long enough. It’s time for a change. It’s time to confront this challenge head-on and discover a healthier way to cope. I have many more years ahead, and I deserve to find peace. If medication can help me achieve that, I’m ready to take the leap.
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In summary, I have decided to confront my lifelong battle with anxiety by seeking medication. This choice follows years of struggle and reflection, and I believe it’s time for a change that will allow me to live more freely and fully for myself and my family.