I can’t even begin to tell you how often I’ve encountered disgruntled men online insisting that no man would ever be interested in me because of my size. It’s honestly predictable. Whenever I share my thoughts on living in a plus-size body (and yes, I once wrote an essay on breastfeeding that sparked a wave of this nonsense), men come out of the woodwork to declare they have no desire to be with someone like me—or any other woman with a fuller figure.
While they think they’re insulting me, it’s clear they don’t understand the first thing about self-worth. If they’re the type of person who would speak to a woman that way, I have no interest in their opinions—or their bodies. Their lack of attraction is perfectly fine by me.
Yet often, I believe these men are just trying to conform to societal beauty standards that leave them feeling confused or ashamed for being attracted to plus-size women. They struggle to accept that women like me can be genuinely beautiful.
The notion that men aren’t attracted to bigger women is simply ridiculous. Many men appreciate a curvy, soft, or even voluptuous partner. Throughout my life as a plus-size woman, I’ve wished for many things—money, free time, cute boots—but attention from men has never been one of them. I’ve received plenty of it, and my size has remained unchanged.
Some men are exclusively drawn to bigger women, while others, like my partner, appreciate women of all sizes. And many men are comfortable in relationships where their partner may gain weight over time. Attraction isn’t always linked to a specific dress size, and love can flourish regardless of the number on the scale.
Need proof? Here are a few examples:
This is me and my wonderful partner, Alex. We’ve been together for nearly two decades, and he adores my body just as it is. He finds me incredibly attractive, and my size doesn’t bother him one bit.
Look at popular influencer Mia Johnson and her partner, Jake. A quick scroll through their social media shows him appreciating her curves openly.
YouTuber Clara Foster has been happily married to her husband, Sam, for years. They share a joyful relationship that showcases love beyond appearances.
And what about social media star Jamie Lee? Her partner, Mike, clearly doesn’t follow the idea that men shouldn’t be attracted to plus-size women.
There are countless couples out there where men love and cherish their plus-size partners. A simple search on Instagram using hashtags related to plus-size or fat love will reveal a wealth of beautiful relationships.
While fatphobia is prevalent and harmful, it is essential to understand that no one should have to justify their body size. The so-called “health concerns” often thrown at us are tiresome. The negativity can wear anyone down, but we must continue pushing against this stigma.
It’s 2020. We have more important issues to tackle than body shaming. Instead, consider using that energy to engage in positive actions—whether it’s volunteering, educating yourself on social issues, or supporting your community.
And while you’re at it, know that there are millions of plus-size women receiving love from partners—be they men, women, or non-binary individuals—who find us utterly captivating. Your attempts to shame us won’t change that.
Summary
In a world rife with fatphobia, the belief that men don’t appreciate plus-size women is wildly inaccurate. Many men are attracted to curvier partners and celebrate their beauty. It’s crucial to challenge societal standards and recognize the love that exists across all body types.
For more insights, check out our other blog post here. You can also learn more about the process and options available for at-home insemination at Make a Mom and explore resources for pregnancy and infertility at Mount Sinai.
Probable Search Queries
- Do men like plus-size women?
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- Body positivity and self-love