It’s been an exhausting 212 days since I received the call from the health department about my Covid-19 exposure, prompting my family and I to quarantine. Two hundred twelve days since my doctor recommended I isolate myself from my loved ones for a fortnight. In these 212 days, Covid-19 has turned my life upside down—physically, financially, and emotionally. As I write this from my hospital bed on day 18 of my current stay, I find myself in a worse state than when it all began.
I have been diagnosed with Long Covid Syndrome, a label I spent months advocating for to ensure it was officially recognized in my medical records. Being extremely ill for weeks isn’t the only challenge; as a “Covid Long Hauler,” I also had to convince medical professionals to take my condition seriously. After all, who would believe someone could be unwell for over seven months? Many doctors are quick to dismiss what they cannot fully comprehend.
With the limited knowledge surrounding this virus, finding medical experts for advice is a daunting task. Like many others in my situation, I find myself traveling two hours to a teaching hospital, hoping for answers. We know there’s no cure, yet we continue to suffer and deserve better management of our symptoms and to be acknowledged.
My experience as a Covid Long-Hauler has been nothing short of a nightmare. I’ve endured persistent nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea for 212 days. The classic Covid symptoms of shortness of breath and chest pain fluctuate. A recent CT scan showed my lungs still exhibit signs of Covid, even after all this time. Fatigue, brain fog, nerve pain, daily fevers, and a complete loss of taste are just some of the issues I face daily. Lately, I’ve been struggling with severe pain radiating from my lower back down to my toes, often bringing me to tears. My new “normal” includes living with a nasojejunal (NJ) feeding tube since I can’t keep medications or solid foods down consistently.
In addition to Long Covid, I’ve also been diagnosed with C. diff (likely acquired during my hospital stays) and Post-Covid Gastroparesis, each bringing their own set of distressing symptoms. If I’m not nauseous, I’m dealing with accidents, which adds to my embarrassment and frustration.
Another aspect rarely discussed in relation to Long Covid Syndrome is the overwhelming guilt it brings. For 212 days, I haven’t been able to fulfill my role as a mother. I haven’t worked since I was first advised to isolate back in March. Cooking dinner is often impossible due to nausea, pain, or my foggy brain. On good days, I can dress myself and keep liquids down; on bad days, I find myself curled up in tears. My partner has been left to manage everything alone during this time.
I’ve spent more time in hospitals than with my children lately, and that breaks my heart. My absence is felt deeply; they are young and struggling with their emotions, and I can’t be there to support them. I feel immense guilt over our financial struggles too, as both my partner and I have been unable to work since March, leaving us in a precarious situation.
As I write this, 18 days into my hospital stay, there seems to be no end in sight, and the doctors are still trying to find solutions. They are doing everything they can, but the unknowns remain daunting. Each time I’m discharged, I fear the inevitable readmission. Living like this is unsustainable—it’s exhausting and unfair. I yearn to be healthy enough to play with my kids and to bake with my daughter.
I’m not dead, but I certainly don’t feel alive, and it’s incredibly frustrating. I’m ready to feel better anytime now.
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Possible Search Queries:
- What is Long Covid Syndrome?
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Summary:
This article details the struggles of living with Long Covid after 212 days of illness. The author shares their personal journey through persistent symptoms, hospitalizations, and the emotional toll of being unable to fulfill their roles as a parent and partner. The narrative highlights the need for better symptom management and understanding from the medical community, while also addressing the guilt and financial strain experienced by those affected.