Dear Home Insemination Kit,
I’m absolutely furious. Police violence, cities in turmoil, and a president who’s only adding fuel to the fire. Friends and family members revealing their true, racist colors. And let’s not forget about COVID-19, which continues to cause chaos while some people act like it’s no longer a threat, flocking to bars and social gatherings without a care. From dawn until dusk, I’m consumed with anger. I recognize my privilege as a white, cisgender, straight woman, but the intensity of my rage can be overwhelming. I’m worried that my frustration is spilling over and affecting my kids, which I desperately want to avoid. What should I do?
Your anger is completely justified! It’s good to feel this way. Believe me, I’m equally enraged. There’s so much going on that deserves our outrage. Like you, I’m a white, straight, cisgender woman aware of my privileges. I’m actively working on educating myself about the deep-rooted systemic racism ingrained in our society, as well as the rampant individual racism that exists. The news is a constant reminder of how dire our situation is—our social media feeds are filled with relatives we thought we had distanced ourselves from, showing their true colors.
But here’s the crucial point: we shouldn’t shy away from these feelings. We need to embrace our anger. It’s not the anger itself that’s the issue; it’s how we choose to channel it. Sure, we can vent on social media, unfollowing people and engaging in heated discussions (which can be satisfying at times). However, we can also transform our outrage into meaningful action. With the privilege we hold comes an even greater responsibility to drive change.
I’m not a mental health professional, but through my experiences, I’ve learned that anger often masks other emotions—hurt, fear, confusion, or even a mix of them all. Identifying the root causes of your anger can help you determine the best way to express it. If left unchecked, this anger can manifest in harmful ways. For instance, I found myself snapping at my children over trivial matters like their messy rooms or petty arguments, when my real frustration lies elsewhere.
I’m angry at the racism that permeates our society and the inadequacies of our leadership. I’m furious about a president who resorts to violence for a photo opportunity and about those who support him. I’m outraged that some individuals prioritize their freedom to roam without masks over the health and well-being of others.
To make productive use of your rage, I suggest you find an outlet for it. Explore local organizations where you can offer support. Educate yourself on white privilege and the history of racism in the U.S. Share books like “Stamped” or “A Kids Book About Racism” with your children and engage in discussions about them. Invest in literature by authors of color or featuring Black protagonists for your local library. Participate in protests, donate to bail funds for arrested protesters, or drop off supplies for those on the front lines. Joining a local chapter of organizations like Black Lives Matter or Standing Up For Racial Justice can also provide volunteer opportunities. Start a virtual prayer circle, initiate a petition, or follow more Black voices on social media. Listen to the needs of people of color and support them without expecting them to do the emotional labor for you.
While you’re actively engaging, don’t forget to care for yourself. Activism is a marathon, not a sprint. Limit activities that drain your energy, and focus on those that ignite your passion. If scrolling through social media only fuels your anger, take a break. Check the news once or twice a day instead of keeping it on loop. Make choices that nourish your spirit.
Above all, don’t feel guilty for your anger, nor should you suppress it. You have every right to feel this way. Now, harness that energy and make a difference.
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In summary, channel your anger into action, educate yourself and your children, and prioritize self-care amid activism.