I may not be the perfect parent, but I strive to be one who takes accountability. Recently, I found myself in a moment of frustration and called my child a brat. It was a first for me—I’ve never resorted to name-calling before, but the stress of the day got the better of me.
What Happened
Here’s what happened: I entered my room only to discover that my child had turned all my bed pillows into a jumping pile on the floor, despite my countless requests not to do so. I have solid reasons for this rule—first and foremost, I don’t want my bed pillows on the floor. Little feet and butts should not be on my pillows; I want to rest my head on clean bedding, and that’s a fair request. He has plenty of cushions in his own room to jump on, so it’s not like he’s missing out on fun.
I’ve always encouraged open communication, explaining the “why” behind my rules, and I understand that kids often act impulsively as they develop. Yet, when I walked in to see the pillows scattered yet again, I snapped. The stress of being cooped up at home during the pandemic certainly didn’t help.
In a moment of exasperation, I exclaimed, “I’ve told you not to do this a million times! You’re such a brat!” The instant regret washed over me. It was a name I never thought I’d use, and I knew it wasn’t constructive. I couldn’t take back that moment or the memory it created for my child, which made it all the more painful.
Making Amends
After a half-hearted initial apology—where I barely acknowledged my mistake—I realized I needed to do better. I found my child and we sat together on my bed. I sincerely told him, “I’m sorry for calling you a brat earlier. That was wrong of me. You are a good kid who is trying your best. Even when you make mistakes, it doesn’t change who you are. I shouldn’t have used that name.”
To my relief, he responded with a smile and said, “I forgive you.” He even quipped, “Calling me names was kind of bratty, huh, Mom?” We both laughed, and it lightened the mood. While I still felt guilty, I knew that talking it out helped. Apologizing isn’t a magic fix, but it models humility and kindness, which are valuable lessons for him.
Teaching Accountability
Although I recognize that one instance of losing my temper isn’t going to damage our relationship permanently, I also want my child to learn about accountability. That’s why I made him pick up the pillows and remake my bed. If he can’t respect my belongings, he will have to deal with the consequences, like missing out on playtime in my room.
Regardless of his behavior, he deserves to be treated with respect. I wouldn’t call anyone else names in anger, and he shouldn’t be the exception. He’s a whole person, and as his parent, I need to model how to treat others well. If I want him to recognize disrespect, I must first acknowledge my own. I need to own up to my mistakes and apologize when I act inappropriately.
Commitment to Apologizing
While I may never be a perfect parent, I can certainly strive to be one who apologizes. I know I will make countless mistakes while raising my children, but I commit to apologizing sincerely every time I realize I’ve gone wrong, even when it’s uncomfortable. I hope that when my kids reflect on their childhood, they will remember not only my shortcomings but also my willingness to admit when I’m wrong.
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Conclusion
In summary, while I can’t be the ideal mom, my commitment to apologizing when I err helps foster a respectful relationship with my kids. It’s a vital lesson in humility that I hope they carry into their own lives.